Gray Puppet
by Nikki Hasselhoff
Summary: Allen Walker and Lenalee Lee meet a boy with a strange kind of Innocence. Unfortunately, he does not only use his abilities on Akuma. WARNING: this includes rape, pedophilia, and underage sex. Allen Walker X O.C. plus a bit of Laven.
1. Chapter 1- Havenfire

An Allen Walker X Original Character Fanfiction by Marik-Fan-Jif and Nikki Hasselhoff

Chapter 1- Havenfire

Allen was walking down a dark alley alone-or so he thought. He had not heard the light footsteps of the person behind him. He paused, finally sensing the other presence. As an exorcist, he had had to hone his skills and listen to his gut instinct. He turned. Standing there was a dark figure.

"Innocence invo-" Allen started, but he cut off his own sentence and suppressed his power. That was odd. He had not intended to withhold his defense, but something had convinced him to do so. His left eye was not sensing an Akuma, so he may have had nothing to worry about-unless he included the off chance that this was a Noah.

Allen could sense the figure watching him closely. It stepped toward him. He would have stepped back, but he merely stood there. "Who are you?" he asked.

The figure did not reply, but it had come close enough for Allen to see its features. It was a boy, barely older than him, with thick, curly, baby-blue hair with loose twists falling into his piercing violet eyes. He threw Allen's own question back at him: "Who are _you?_"

Allen could not remove his eyes from the figure's penetrating gaze, even though the boy had come close enough to touch his face. Allen's heart was beating so fast, it hurt, but despite all his instincts telling him to run, he stayed where he was. "A-Allen Walker," he stuttered unintentionally. He was even more surprised to find himself continuing, "I'm an exorcist from the Black Order." His hand went to his mouth. That information was supposed to be secret, but he had still found himself saying it aloud to a total stranger. What was _wrong _with him today? As if to make up for his carelessness, he asked, "Where do you come from?"

The boy's thin lips twisted into a smirk. "Have you ever heard of a place called 'Havenfire'?" His violet eyes came closer, greedily taking in Allen's every feature. They rested for a longer time on the curse of his left eye, but that, Allen's left arm, and his white hair were usually the first things anyone noticed about him, not to mention the exorcist cloak he wore.

"No, I've never heard of it," Allen replied, trying to keep himself calm and ignore their closeness.

The boy put his hands on Allen's shoulders and leaned in close to his ear. "You should feel lucky, Kid." Allen's skin crawled when he felt the boy's hot tongue lap at his earlobe. He tensed for just a moment before relaxing again. He longed to push the stranger away, but something kept telling him to stay put. Again, the boy spoke, his breath ghosting against the exorcist's ear. "My name is Kaede, Kaede Nishimura."

"What exactly is Havenfire?" Allen inquired, attempting to distract himself.

Kaede's forehead pressed against his own, entangling their bangs. "Havenfire is hell," he chuckled. "I come from the darkest depths of your mind and the most fearsome places in your soul." Allen's heart beat violently, and his face grew hot when one of the boy's hands fell from his shoulder to rest on his chest. "I unlock the desires you hold here and lay them bare for the world to see." The boy's other hand took Allen by the chin, and his face leaned in-too close. The exorcist shut his eyes in panic but was unable to pull away.

"Allen, _Allen, _where have you run off to?"

Kaede stopped himself. Allen barely opened his eyes to see the boy's look of irritation at being interrupted. He stepped away from the exorcist as Lenalee turned into their alleyway and ran up to them. "Allen, thank god I found you! You're-wait, who's this guy?"

"Oh, he's-" Allen was cut off by Kaede.

"Actually, I'm an accommodator of Innocence," Kaede explained. Allen's eyes widened as the boy gestured toward a silver chain with a metal ball dangling at the end of it that he wore as an earring.

"You're exactly who we've been looking for, then," Lenalee said, beaming. "We've come to take you back with us. I'm assuming you already know what the Black Order is if you know about Innocence."

"Yes," Kaede replied, grinning deviously at Allen.

"Let's head back, then," Allen said, trying to distract any particular attention to how stupid he felt. "Um, by the way, this is Lenalee Lee. Lenalee, this is Kaede Nishimura."

Kaede took Lenalee gracefully by the hand and put his lips to the back of it. Allen saw his eyes creep upward to see Lenalee's blush and girlish grin as he said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Lee."

"Please," she replied, trying to control the giggle threatening to escape her throat, "just call me 'Lenalee'."

"Lenalee, then," Kaede agreed.

She turned and practically pranced out of the alleyway. Allen glanced at Kaede one last time before following her. The accommodator was smirking darkly at him.

Allen tried to set his face and quickly followed after his friend.

Like that, they reached the train station that would take them to nearest stop to the Black Order. Upon arrival, Lenalee introduced Kaede to the gatekeeper. After they were permitted inside, Lenalee told Allen that she would meet him in the Mess Hall later with a wink. He nodded and smiled at her in comprehension. Allen then introduced the new exorcist to Komui. Just like all other exorcists, Kaede was given a health check by Lenalee's older brother. The screams of agony that echoed from the room could be heard from miles away. When Kaede came out of the room, Allen immediately asked, "What was it?"

All Kaede replied with was, "Lice."

Remembering the close contact he had been in with Kaede, particularly the way their bangs had entangled, Allen rubbed his hands through his hair. The new exorcist smirked at that, and Allen pulled his hands out, partially satisfied with the negative results of his probing.

Allen gave Kaede the tour of the Black Order, stopping momentarily at his own room to deposit his black exorcist cloak before bringing him down to Hevlaska with Komui and his elevator. The accommodator of the Cube grabbed the fresh meat and pressed her forehead to his just as she did all exorcists. "Ten percent, eighteen percent, thirty-two percent, forty-eight percent, fifty-five percent, sixty-five percent."

Allen and Komui exchanged looks. "That is _really_ low," Komui commented.

"What is your innocence, anyway?" Allen inquired.

Kaede looked at Allen after being set back on the elevator platform and replied, "I have the ability to influence others to do things-animals, people, Akuma, et cetera."

"What can you make them do?" Allen pressed, intrigued by this power.

"Well, for example, I can encourage an Akuma to blow itself up from the inside."

That explanation reminded Allen of the member of the Noah family, Road Kamelot, who could convince an Akuma to do just that and whatever else she fancied.

"The closer he is to his target," Komui added, "the more influence he has over it. Although, with a synchronization level that low, he would need to get really close to his opponent for his Innocence to work properly. Ah, well, I'm sure that with a bit of training and the turning of his Innocence into an anti-Akuma weapon, we'll be able to solve that little problem. I have to ask, though," Komui said, looking at Kaede. "How do you know so much about the Black Order and Innocence?"

Kaede nonchalantly replied, "Cross was my mentor for a few months before I used my power to convince him to let me go. I know enough."

"You influenced General Cross? I have to say, I'm impressed."

Allen's face darkened. "Cross…" he unintentionally said aloud.

"You know him?" Kaede's eyes narrowed at him.

"Um, yes. He was my mentor, as well," Allen replied. "We didn't exactly get along, to say the least."

"I don't think anyone did," Kaede commented.

"Kaede," Komui interjected, "I'll need to take your Innocence for a time to make some adjustments on it to turn it into a weapon you can use. In the meantime, Allen, could you show him to his room?"

Kaede stepped toward Komui and obediently removed his earring to place it in Komui's outstretched hand. The head officer then turned to the elevator's control panel, and they ascended to the lodging level. Allen directed the new exorcist to an empty room. "Come down to the Mess Hall in about four hours. There'll be plenty of food for all of us." Allen then left the room in order to assist Lenalee and the others with the welcoming party.

In four hours, Kaede came to the Mess Hall as directed.

"Welcome, Kaede!" said the members of the Black Order and the large banner above their heads.

Lenalee happily approached Kaede and said, "Welcome to the family!"

Behind her came Allen. The cursed exorcist could not help but notice that Kaede was wearing silver knucklets on his hands and not his chain earring. The new exorcist's purple eyes rested on his face for a moment before he made a plate of food for himself and left.

"What's up with him?" Lenalee asked, sounding dejected.

Allen shrugged. "Not sure."

"Do you think we should check on him?"

"I'll check on him later. He's probably just not used to it here." Allen grabbed himself several plates of food and sat with Lenalee at one of the long tables. "It's sad that he isn't at his own party, though," he thought aloud, starting off his large meal with the rice.

"You could always go check on him, if you're so worried about him," Lenalee suggested.

"I guess I could, but I won't until after this." Allen gestured to his personal feast. "It would be a shame to let all this perfectly good food go to waste."

Lenalee grinned at him, and, together, they ate and enjoyed the party that was not theirs. As they ate, Allen wondered why Kaede had tried to influence him when they had first met. If close contact was what activated his innocence, why had he come so close to Allen?

Allen stood up. "I'm going to go check on him," he told Lenalee.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning, then," she replied.

Allen weaved his way through the scientists and a couple of exorcists who were not on duty to reach the exit. He walked down the halls. When he reached the door to Kaede's room, he stopped and hesitated for a moment before opening the door to let himself in.

Kaede sat on his bed, finishing off the last of his supper. "What are you doing here?" he demanded irritably.

"I just came to see if everything was alright."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know. You just seemed to be in such a hurry to leave."

"And you weren't?"

"Um, no."

"Then why are you here?"

Allen felt his cheeks heat up in indignation. "I came to check on you."

"Just because it's a party in my honor doesn't mean you can't enjoy it without me."

"The whole point of this is to enjoy the evening with you."

Kaede's purple eyes widened considerably at this statement. He smiled deviously, stood and stepped around Allen to close the door gently behind him.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Allen stuttered anxiously. Again, he felt the urge to run being suppressed.

Kaede did not respond to his question. Allen's urge to run changed into something strange. He found himself craving to sit on the bed. Unsure of where this was coming from, he resisted it. Kaede glared long and hard at him, and he succumbed to the craving. The new exorcist sat next to him. "You said you wanted to enjoy the evening with me?" he quoted Allen.

"Um…" Allen's face was hot, but this time it was not from indignation.

Kaede smirked at him and used one hand to push Allen back across the bed. The smaller exorcist was not sure why he was not resisting. He was scared out of his mind, but he lay there obediently as Kaede straddled his stomach. He felt his vest buttons being popped open one by one. The vestige of clothing was tossed to the side. Kaede then focused on his bow. Using his thumb and forefinger, he lovingly caressed the silky ribbon before pulling it undone. He started to unbutton Allen's polo. Allen trembled uncontrollably as those nimble fingers undid the white buttons. His heart beat faster and faster as his fear grew. This was...wrong, so why was he enjoying it?

Kaede pulled off the shirt with one swift movement. Using one hand, he pinned Allen's wrists above his head, even though he was not attempting to fight him. His eyes widened in interest at the sight of Allen's left hand. "Ooh, what do we have here? Is this your innocence?"

His question caught Allen off guard. "Um, yes," he said.

"I've never seen an exorcist with an anti-Akuma weapon built into his arm. Was that a special request? Did it hurt?"

"I was born with it."

"The more you know."

Allen's back curved, and he closed his eyes as tight as he could when Kaede's cold fingertips dragged themselves down his sternum. The smaller exorcist moaned softly at the touch.

Kaede chuckled lightly at his tiny vocalization. He released Allen's hands to move his palms to his chest and fondle the tight muscles there. The cold hands moved to his sides and grew warmer as they stroked the sides of Allen's body. He felt himself being rocked, pushed into the bed more and more firmly with every stroke. It felt as if they were simulating what was to come, and Allen gasped unwittingly at the pleasure.

Kaede pinched one of Allen's nipples and caressed the other. Allen barely opened his eyes to see him release the nipple he had been pinching, only to be replaced by his thin pale lips. He moaned a little too loudly at the wet sensation. Kaede's tongue was much hotter than his fingers.

Kaede pulled his mouth off of Allen and brought it to his ear. "Enjoy it," he whispered.

Allen was unable to protest the order. He wanted to deny Kaede's words. Why was he allowing this? "Why are you doing this?" he gasped.

Kaede smirked against his ear and sighed. His breath tickled Allen's hyper-sensitive skin. "I swear, Allen, you must be the most sensual person I've ever touched." He bit the top of his ear seductively. "You're warm, soft, alluring, and-god, Allen-_flexible_. It drives me up the wall to see how stupidly oblivious you are of how luscious you are."

Allen gulped nervously, unsure of how to respond. He tried to struggle against Kaede and his own lust, but he could not make himself do it. His will melted whenever the thought of flight entered his head. His body was as moldable as wet clay in Kaede's hands. He heard his controller speak again: "Figured it out, yet?"

Unfortunately, he had: "You're using your Innocence against me." He heard the low chuckle emerge from Kaede's throat and knew his assumption was right.

Kaede pulled off his own cloak. Allen's eyes narrowed lustfully at the sight of the white skin-tight tank top hugging strong, yet lean, muscles. He leaned over the smaller boy. Doing that inspired new fear in Allen. He was about to try resisting the new exorcist when his resolve was ripped from him as a hand crawled down his stomach and pelvis to rest against the inside of his thigh. Allen bit his lip and shut his eyes to prevent himself from reacting inappropriately to the dangerous touch.

The hand rubbed against his pant leg. Kaede fearlessly pressed against Allen's most sensitive spot through the cloth, reaching for the button to undo it. It was as though the last thing the other exorcist wanted to do was separate himself from Allen's sweat-coated body. He pulled the article down his thighs and calves. Allen bent one leg in a weak effort to prevent him, but his effort was drowned out altogether by the moan that escaped through his teeth. Kaede took the leg he had bent and pulled it straight after exposing it to the chill air and the weak candle light. He prevented the smaller boy's instinctive jerk as he dragged his tongue along the inside of his thigh. He did not, however, attempt to stop Allen from gasping and bucking his hips involuntarily into the air at the feeling of the wet streaks and the hot tongue. Kaede smirked against his skin and moved to lick his other thigh. Allen's fingers tangled themselves into the bedsheets as he panted in pleasure. A streak of saliva stained the skin from the corner of his mouth to his jawbone.

Kaede sat up and pulled off his tank top. The sight of those toned muscles was almost enough to drive Allen crazy with desire. His controller's thumb went to his face to wipe the drool from it. "You sure put on quite a show, Allen." He put a finger over Allen's lips. "I appreciate your virgin enthusiasm, but you must quiet down, or someone will hear you." His eyes narrowed darkly. "I don't want to be interrupted, again."

"How would you know something like that?" Allen whispered, unable to extricate his voice.

"What, that you're a virgin?" Kaede rolled his eyes. "This isn't my first rodeo, Allen. I can tell the difference between a first-timer and someone with experience."

Allen would have tried to distract him further, stall for as much time as he could, but his thoughts froze when Kaede pulled down his own pants to reveal firm runner's legs. Allen must have had some kind of odd expression because Kaede chuckled once upon seeing his reaction. He used one hand to run his fingers through Allen's white locks, pressed their foreheads together, ground their chests against one another as he hooked two fingers into the hem of his black boxers. Kaede slowly pulled them off of Allen each time he ground against him. The smaller boy shivered in the cold air as he and Kaede were fully exposed.

That was when a different look entered the violet eyes a few centimeters above Allen's. It was a frightening look. The smaller exorcist did not expect to be forcefully flipped onto his stomach. Startled, he tried to turn back around, but Kaede's hand shoved his face back into the sheets. He felt his knees being forced under his body on the bed. His back arched. He tried to correct his position, tear the hand from his head, get himself out from under his controller, but his will was overridden almost too easily with the lack of any distance between them. Kaede's Innocence made him as limp as a ragdoll to its power.

A burning pain ripped through Allen's vertebrae as Kaede tore him carelessly open with a single finger. It was a hasty and painful preparation. Allen was still as tight as a stretched wire when his controller pulled the digit out. He nearly screamed as an agony following the finger erupted in him. His cries and moans were muffled by the sheets covering his mouth. All the pleasure from before vanished as though it had never existed, leaving behind only the pain. It seemed to go on forever. Granted, Allen had never wanted to do this in the first place, but for a while, he had been convinced that Kaede would be gentle with him. He heard a crack each time Kaede demonstrated his disregard for Allen's body and self-respect. The cracks were the sounds of his heart breaking at this cruel betrayal.

He lay there miserably, waiting for Kaede to finish with him. After what felt like an eternity, he heard Kaede moan and felt a wet warmth fill his insides. His controller pulled out of his broken body, released the grip on his head, and collapsed on the bed beside him. Allen lay completely still for a few minutes in shock. The pain slowly subsided into a dull ache. He glanced back at Kaede to see if he were still awake. He appeared to be asleep, so, slowly and painfully, Allen sat up. He feared to awaken his controller. Glancing once more at the blue-haired boy to assure that his movement had not woken him up, he stood, pulled on his shirt, underwear, pants, and vest, and bolted from the room.


	2. Chapter 2- Introduction

Chapter 2- Introduction

Allen ran as fast as his aching body would allow him without collapse. He assumed the party was over based on the increased number of people in the halls. He ignored a voice he knew when it called him out: "Allen, what's going on? Did something happen with Kaede?"

It was Lenalee's voice, but Allen did not stop running. Once he reached his destination, the boys' lavatories, he flung the door open and rushed inside. He flung off his clothes and jumped into one of the shower stalls. He turned the faucet on full blast, disregarding the temperature change from freezingly cold to scorchingly hot. He shuddered. The boiling water streamed down his skin like rivers of lava down the sloping sides of a volcano, but the burning temperature was nothing in comparison to the fear and humiliation he felt. He thought over everything that had happened. The shock of it was too much for him, though, and he hid his face in his hands as if to conceal himself from his thoughts. He was only pulled back into reality when he felt his body expel the byproduct of his nightmare. His eyes blurred and stung. Sobs escaped his throat. He collapsed to the ground, hurting, broken, miserable. In the midst of his weeping, he heard a faint knocking on the lavatory door and Lenalee's frantic voice, "Allen, is everything okay?"

Upon hearing her voice, he stubbornly wiped away his tears and sighed shakily, trying desperately to get a hold of himself. "Yeah, everything's fine," he lied.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't quite hear you. It sounds like there's water running."

Allen sighed and turned off the faucet. Standing, he reached outside the stall to grab the white towel hanging on a nearby peg. He rubbed it across his body in order to dry off. He wrapped it around his waist and left the stall to take a robe from one of the pegs on the opposite wall. Once he had replaced the towel with a robe, he walked to the door, to Lenalee.

"What happened?" Lenalee asked him when he opened the door. "You're looking kind of pale."

Allen laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head, forcing himself to put on a smile. Right when he was about to speak, though, he saw Kaede walk toward them.

"Kaede," Lenalee said, having noticed the newcomer, as well, "what're you doing here?"

Kaede held up the red string that was Allen's bow. "You left this in my room."

Allen felt the blood drain from his face. He slowly raised his hand and took the ribbon from Kaede. Once it had slipped through Kaede's fingers, the new exorcist strode past them. Allen's hand shook violently as he held the returned object. Lenalee watched him carefully. "What's wrong?" she asked, seeming more worried when Allen started shaking violently. She put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, are you alright? Did something happen with Kaede?"

He looked uncertainly at her. "I, um," he started hesitantly, "I was kind of…" He was unable to continue.

"Allen, what happened?" Lenalee pressed, looking into his face.

"Come with me." He grabbed Lenalee's arm and went to a less populated hallway. He could not bear the idea of anyone else hearing what he was about to say. He closed his eyes, leaned in closely to her ear, and whispered hesitantly, "Kaede…took…he took my…my innocence."

Lenalee looked at Allen's arm. "What?"

He pulled away, blushing fiercely.

Her eyes widened in shock. "Oh, Allen, you don't mean-?"

Allen's bangs shaded his eyes.

A terrifying fury pierced her expression as she looked in the direction Kaede had gone. She started stomping that way, seething in rage. Allen reached out and took her by the arm. "Allen, we need to do something about it!" she protested against his grip.

He could only look at her doubtfully, his voice refusing to cooperate with his will. He wanted to do something about it, too, but he knew that there were too few exorcists already. He held onto her arm and hoped she would understand.

Lenalee looked down the hallway again, still wanting to go after Kaede.

"Please, Lenalee," Allen begged, forcing the words out, "don't make a huge fuss over it."

She stared at him with tears in her eyes. "Allen, don't you understand the severity of this? He _raped_ you!"

"I-I know that," Allen replied, preventing his own weakness from allowing his grip to slacken on her arm. Fortunately, she did not attempt to escape him. Instead, she walked closer to him and hugged him. He froze and then, slowly, raised his arms to hug her back. He did not really want to be touched right now, but this _was_ Lenalee. "I'm sorry, Lenalee, but for right now, please don't do anything," he murmured, referring to his situation with Kaede.

"I don't want to see you hurting like this." She sighed and pulled back to see his face. "Fine, I won't tell anyone. I don't agree with keeping it secret, but it's your decision." She released him and backed up a few steps. "Get some sleep."

Allen nodded. Lenalee turned and walked back to her room. After one final sigh, Allen went back to his room, as well. Once he was inside, he shut the door behind him and slid down its smooth surface. He put his face in his hands. They hurt-his heart and body hurt. He hugged his knees and looked at the floor. He must have stayed like that for hours because the sounds of commotion outside his room faded into silence until there was nothing left but soundless darkness. He eventually lifted his heavy body and got ready for bed. Before crawling under the covers, he carefully moved his exorcist cloak to place it next to the robe on his nightstand.

He cocooned himself in the sheets of his bed. It were as if the cottony folds were comforting him, reassuring him that everything was alright, that he could sleep.

Allen awoke to the sound of a person calling to him: "Allen? Allen, wake up. You've been sleeping like you're dead." He heard the voice get slightly louder, as if the person were coming closer to his face. "Lavi's back."

Allen opened his eyes to see Lenalee leaning over him. Slowly, he sat up and repeated groggily: "Lavi's back from Romania?"

Lenalee smiled and nodded. Allen grinned back at her, sat up, and said, "I'll be down at the Mess Hall in a few minutes. I'll meet you guys there."

Lenalee watched him for a moment longer before her face fell, and a look of concern entered her eyes. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? We can help you out-correct Kaede before he does something like this again."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Lenalee sighed and stood from her kneeling position beside his bed. She promptly left the room. Allen disentangled himself from his bedsheets, stood to clothe himself, and followed after her.

Allen saw Lavi sitting at a table eating a plate of food with Lenalee. When he entered the room, the red-haired Bookman looked up and beamed at him. He did not seem very tired, even though he had just returned from a mission. "Allen, hey! I saved you a seat," he said, gesturing to the many empty seats around him. Allen ordered plenty of food, including at least fifteen _mitarashi dango_, and sat down next to him. Lavi returned to his breakfast, and Allen took his chance to ask Lenalee a question with his eyes. He glanced at Lavi, then looked back at her. She shook her head.

"So, Lavi, how was your mission?" Lenalee inquired.

He looked up at her and whined, "There wasn't any Innocence to be found, it was just a rumor. There wasn't any blue lava-there wasn't even a volcano anywhere in the proximity." He sounded rather irritated. "How did finding that accommodator go?"

It was then that Allen noticed a flash of blue with his peripheral vision and saw Kaede walk into the Mess Hall. He reflexively tensed in his seat, thinking, _Please, god, don't come over here…._

"Hey, Allen!" Kaede called. His tone was less friendly and more commanding. He walked straight toward Allen. The smaller exorcist scooted across his seat, trying to maintain the distance them and accidentally bumping into Lavi in the process. Kaede stopped a few feet from him. "Komui said that you and I are going on a mission together."

"_What?_ You and _Allen?_" Lenalee said fiercely, slamming her fork on the table.

Kaede glared at her and nodded matter-of-factly. "Yeah, got a problem with it?"

"Are you the new exorcist?" Lavi interjected. He stood and extended his hand to Kaede. "My name's Lavi. I'm a Bookman, but I'm participating part-time as an exorcist here at the Order."

Kaede shook his hand gruffly and introduced himself.

"So, what's your Innocence?" Lavi asked.

Kaede held up his knucklets and explained his Innocence to Lavi. The Bookman appeared intrigued by his unique ability. He seemed tempted to ask more questions, but Kaede did not allow it. "Allen, let's go," he ordered. He turned and left before the smaller exorcist could respond.

With no other options, Allen stood and followed Kaede. As he stood, he noticed Lavi and Lenalee exchanging glances. The Bookman stood and said, "I'll go with you, Allen."

Partially relieved, Allen agreed. Together, the two boys followed the third down to Komui's office. When they arrived, Kaede was already being briefed by Komui. Allen and Lavi approached them.

"Ah, there you are, Allen," Komui said upon seeing him. "I was just explaining that we've detected some strange activity occurring in a forest here in eastern Germany." He pointed to a specific location on the map hanging from the large bookshelf behind him. "People have been disappearing after going into this forest. Your assigned Finder, Toma, has details on the suspicious activity he's seen. Will you be going with them, Lavi?"

"Oh, yes," the Bookman replied.

"The Order sincerely apologizes for sending you on a wild goose chase. I'm glad to see that you're still up to accepting a new mission so soon."

Lavi smiled and nodded agreeably. "It was the Finder's mistake, not the Order's."

"Well, you three should be on your way, then," Komui stated. "Toma's waiting with a boat down in the underground waterway. He'll take you to a train station in France."

Allen nodded and led Kaede to the waterway. Lavi followed suit. When they reached the boat, Allen introduced Kaede and Toma to each other. Toma bowed politely and said to his new acquaintance, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kaede, Sir."

"Just Kaede," he responded.

Toma gestured to the river boat docked beside him. One by one, they boarded the boat, Allen at the head, then Lavi, then Kaede, then Toma. They started their long journey to the first train station.

Once they stepped into one of the train coaches at a station in France, the symbols on their exorcist cloaks permitted them into the first class carriage. Kaede sat on one side of the compartment they chose, and Lavi sat on the other. Allen stood in the doorway, unable to decide whether to avoid Kaede and sit with his friend or to keep up a friendly façade by sitting with the newbie exorcist. He eventually decided to sit with Toma outside the compartment to discuss the suspicious activity he had seen.

"Call me crazy, Allen, Sir," the Finder started, "but people aren't just disappearing in that forest."

"What do you mean?" Allen inquired.

"I watched a traveler as he walked through those woods, just out of curiosity. I saw a tree grab him, and, well…"

"Well, what?" Allen pressed.

"Well, it almost seemed like the tree _ate_ him."

Allen blinked. Forget about suspicious activity; that was just _weird. _

"The bark just reached out and grabbed him, swallowed him up, and went back to looking like a normal tree," Toma described.

Allen tried to imagine that. "The tree...ate him?"

"That's what he just said, isn't it?" came Kaede's faintly husky voice through the open entrance.

"It still sounds really strange," Lavi said.

"It sounds like the work of Innocence," Kaede corrected.

The rest of the day had already passed before the train pulled into the next station. Upon exiting the train, Allen noticed they were in some town with a French name he could not pronounce. They checked in at a local hotel. Their room consisted of two beds and a pullout bed, along with a bathroom and other essentials. After having dinner at a nearby café, they returned to the room. Allen ended up being the one to sleep on the pullout bed, Kaede and Lavi got their own plush beds, and Toma stood outside. Allen removed and folded his exorcist cloak, placing it on the closest table. He was the first one to turn in, but sleep evaded him at the thought of being in the same room as Kaede at night.

That was when he heard a conversation start between Kaede and Lavi. It was the former who spoke first: "He looks cute when he's sleeping, doesn't he?"

Allen nearly opened his eyes when he heard that comment, but he kept them shut for the sake of his own curiosity.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Lavi stuttered.

Allen heard Kaede chuckle softly and reply, "Come on, it must be maddening to resist someone who behaves that adorably. It's obvious that you like him, despite how oblivious he is. What could he be dreaming about, right now? For all you know, it could be _you._"

Lavi sounded flustered as he responded, "That's not-I didn't-I'm not-"

"Don't even try to deny it. The way you act around him makes your feelings so obvious, it's positively precious. Of course, he _could_ be dreaming of me." Kaede's tone seemed to mock Allen's friend.

"What does it matter what or whom he's dreaming about? It's not any of my business...or yours."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep."

Allen heard the sound of rustling sheets and could imagine that Lavi had tucked himself in to make a point of ending the conversation. He heard a chuckle and more rustling of sheets. Assured that Kaede did not intend on hurting him again tonight, Allen managed to calm down enough for sleep, in spite of everything he had just heard.

The next morning, Allen was the first to wake up. Groggily, he sat up on his bed and pulled on his exorcist cloak, knowing that they would have to be off, soon. He looked over to see if the others had awoken. When he saw that they had not, he walked over to Lavi's bedside and put his hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. "Lavi, wake up. We need to get going."

The Bookman's left eye slowly opened at Allen's gentle shaking. Allen felt tempted to ask him about his conversation with Kaede the previous night, but he decided against it. After all, the two boys had not intended for him to hear any of that. He also contemplated waking up Kaede, but, instead, he requested, "Lavi, could you wake Kaede up?"

"Mmm," Lavi replied in the affirmative. He dragged himself out of bed and stepped toward Kaede.

Allen left the room to wait with Toma until Kaede and Lavi joined them. They checked out of the hotel and went to the same café as the night before to have breakfast. They were soon back on the train to take them through Belgium. This time, Allen decided to sit next to Lavi, seeing as he trusted him more than his counterpart. Toma stood outside the compartment, as usual. This time, the door between them was closed.

There was a silence between the three exorcists. Allen resigned himself to staring out the window, watching the land roll sleepily by on Lavi's other side. The sight of it made Allen yawn. He closed his eyes and let himself drift into sleep.

Lavi was startled when Allen's weight leaned against him. He stared at Allen, who was sleeping peacefully against his side. He found himself overcome by the temptation to put an arm around his small frame.

That was when Lavi noticed the smirk on Kaede's face as the other exorcist said, "He makes himself so _easy,_ doesn't he?"

Lavi felt his cheeks heat up. "I would never take advantage of him like that."

"Maybe you wouldn't, but that doesn't stop him from being such a tease."

Lavi glared at him, but the pale exorcist did not seemed phased in the slightest. He even had the nerve to say, "If he's bothering you so much, I'd be more than happy to take him off your hands for you."

"He's not bothering me," Lavi defended himself. "He's just my friend."

"Oh, cut the crap, Lavi," Kaede snapped. "It's obvious that you like him more than that."

"That doesn't mean we're any more than that."

Kaede raised his eyebrows and stared pointedly at Lavi's arm. His expression probed him, dared him. It was accompanied by, "What would it hurt to hold him close?"

Again, Lavi resisted the urge to put his arm around Allen, but it was more difficult than before. Kaede was watching him expectantly, egging him on to give in to his primal instinct. "Stop," Lavi ordered, still glaring at Kaede. "What do you care about my feelings for him, anyway?"

"Well, I think he's adorable," the other exorcist responded simply. "Why shouldn't you?"

That caught Lavi off guard. "Why is Allen so awkward around you, anyway?"

Kaede narrowed his eyes at him and questioned, "What makes you say he is?"

"He isn't usually evasive with people. He's friendly to everyone he meets, but he seems so reluctant and anxious to be around you. Why is that?"

Again, Kaede did not seem phased by his question. "Maybe it's because he likes me."

"Where did you get that idea from?" Lavi could not help the effect his counterpart's words had on him.

"Well, you said he was awkward. Maybe that's how he acts around people he _likes._"

"I doubt it; if anything, he's got his heart set on Lenalee."

Kaede burst out laughing. Its disturbingly loud volume in the small compartment surprised Lavi, and, for a moment, the red-haired exorcist wondered if he had said the wrong thing.

Allen was woken up by the sound of Kaede's laughter. When he opened his eyes, he did not expect to feel the soft black fabric of an exorcist cloak tickling his nose. He looked at what he was leaning on and was surprised to see that it was not a "what" but a "whom".

"Oh, Lavi! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-I just-" Allen hastily apologized, sitting up and losing his words until Lavi interrupted him.

"It's fine, Allen. You don't weigh much." His voice was light-hearted, and Allen felt a little less embarrassed about using his friend as a body pillow.

"So, what was Kaede laughing about?" Allen asked, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, you know, we were just talking about stuff. It was all mission-based," Lavi responded, putting a hand to the back of his neck.

"He was laughing at something about the mission?" Allen felt confused.

"The very idea of trees gulping people down like candy is just hilarious, don't you think?" Kaede said with an effective chuckle, his gaze fixating on Lavi.

"You have a sick mind," Lavi commented.

"Um, exorcists," came Toma's voice, "I just thought I'd inform you that we've passed the French border and are now in Belgium. We'll be stopping again at the end of the day."

"Thanks for the update, Toma," Allen responded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Did you have a good nap, Allen?" Kaede asked.

The question would not have taken Allen aback had anyone else asked it. "Uh, yeah. I mean, sleeping is good…."

"That's good; you were looking pretty tired all morning. You know,"-his expression grew mischievous-"you can use either one of us as a pillow, if you'd like."

Allen felt his face heat up to his ear tips. "I-I didn't mean to...I just, uh," he stuttered, his embarrassment returning.

"What, do you like Lavi more than me?"

What was Allen supposed to say to that? His heartbeat hastened. "No, that's not it."

"Oh, so you _don't_ like Lavi more than me."

"No, I just don't want to impose on either of you."

"Lavi pointed it out: you don't weigh all that much."

"My weight has nothing to do with this."

"Why don't you prove that you don't like Lavi more than me?"

"I don't know why I should like one of you more than the other," Allen mumbled, his eyes shifting away from Kaede's face.

"It's alright, Allen, you can sit with him," Lavi said. He sounded disheartened, but Allen could see an encouraging smile on his face. Reluctantly, he stood up and walked over to sit next to Kaede. He intentionally left a bit of space between them for his own sake.

"See, Allen? I don't bite...hard. Why don't you sit a little closer?" He patted the seat between them.

Knowing he would have to keep up the appearance of being on good terms with the new exorcist, Allen held his breath and eliminated the space between them.

"Sleep, Allen," Kaede whispered to him, quietly enough for Lavi to not hear.

Kaede's lulling voice had an oddly powerful influence over him. Slowly, he closed his eyes, even though he did not want to. He could tell Kaede was using his Innocence on him again, but with Lavi watching them, there was nothing Allen could do to inform the other exorcist of this fact without appearing to like him more than Kaede.

Lavi watched Allen fall asleep against Kaede's side. The blue-haired exorcist smirked satisfactorily and wrapped one arm around the smaller boy's shoulders as though Allen belonged to him. Lavi sighed. "Are you mocking me?"

Kaede's smirk broadened to show pearly teeth as he ran his hand through Allen's snowy hair. He turned and kissed the sleeping exorcist on the head. His eyes moved to Lavi, seeming to savor the way the other exorcist gritted his teeth in frustration. Kaede said, "You should take what you can get while you still can. No-one should ever let someone as delectable as this little one slip through their fingers, and, yet, we do it all the time."

"Like I said, I won't take advantage of him," Lavi said defensively. "You, on the other hand, I'm not so sure of."

"Am I taking advantage of him? Can you honestly say that with what little you know about me? Well, then, why don't you _really_ get to know me?" He crossed his legs and leaned back in his seat, pulling Allen back with him. Allen's face twitched, but Kaede ran feather-light fingertips over his eyelids, and the smaller boy relaxed again. Lavi wondered why Allen had gone from being so awkward around him to falling asleep in his arms. Kaede continued to pet Allen's hair and started, "My name is Kaede Nishimura. I'm sixteen-years-old. I was born and raised in Japan, but I ran away from home one night when I was nine after having witnessed my father kill my own mother."

Lavi's eyes went wide. "What?"

Kaede's smirk turned to a wan smile. "Yeah, he was pretty surprised to see me standing in the doorway. He dropped that liquor bottle and tried to grab me, but I ran so fast, there would have been no way for that fat ass to catch me. General Cross found me on the streets a few days later, and I became his apprentice. Little did I know that he was almost no better than my drunkard of a father." He sighed audibly. "He only took me in because I'm an accommodator of Innocence, and he needed someone to buy him liquor and do his dirty work."

"That sounds like Cross," Lavi commented. Allen had said the exact same things about his old master. "How long were you with him?"

"I could only stand him for about four months-long enough for me to get the information I needed on Innocence and the Black Order."

"Oh, so you graduated before Allen did," Lavi said, impressed. "It took three years for Allen to be considered a full exorcist."

"I don't know if you could call it 'graduating'." Kaede's voice darkened considerably.

"What do you mean?"

"You've already figured this out, but Cross would get really shit-faced most nights," Kaede explained.

"Yeah…?"

"Well, he came home one night just completely blasted. He passed out in the doorway before even making it to bed. Obviously, I hate the guy with every fiber of my being, but he was the only reason I wasn't on the streets at the time. I dragged him into the room and tried to wake him up, and I ended up having to pour a glass of water over his head. He didn't like that very much." Kaede sighed shakily, and his normally suave voice broke. "I remember his grabbing me, screaming at me that I was the most worthless piece-of-shit excuse of a person he had ever had the displeasure to meet."

All Lavi could say was, "Jesus."

"Joseph and Mary," Kaede finished for him, gently pulling Allen's head down to rest in his lap. He stroked his hair lovingly, his fingers curling and uncurling within the thick locks.

"So, what happened after that?"

"Well, Cross said he wanted to 'teach me a lesson about obedience'." Kaede's violet eyes closed, and his hand stopped its caressing. "The next thing I knew, I was face-down ass-up for that prick."

"_What?_"

Both Kaede and Lavi blinked in surprise when Allen's eyes flew open, and he sprang upward. Kaede watched him endearingly as he cried, "What do you mean you were 'face-down ass-up' for him?"

"Aw, Sweetie, I'm sorry," Kaede said with an attempt at a reassuring smile.

Allen blushed at the pet name Kaede had called him. "Tell me. I mean, I could've been raped by him! Instead, I was raped by-"

Kaede raised one eyebrow. Lavi felt the shock of what Allen had just let slip hit him like a wrecking ball.

"I mean, I guess I'm just worried…." Allen said softly.

"Wait, wait, wait," Lavi cut in, his eyes seeming to bulge out of his head. "You were _raped?_ By _whom?_"

"Don't worry about it, Lavi. It's not important right now."

"But, Allen-"

"I don't want to talk about it, Lavi." Allen had not meant to sound harsh, but Lavi's dejected look broke his heart nonetheless. He looked back at Kaede. "Please, tell me, Kaede. Cross never did anything like that to me, and I just-" Allen was trying to explain himself when Kaede's lips were suddenly on his own. It was a gentle kiss, intended to shut him up and divert his attention, and it did not last very long, but it still left both Allen and Lavi stunned.

When Kaede pulled away, he put his forehead to Allen's and whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't intend for you to hear any of that."

"What does that matter right now?" Allen griped, his cheeks boiling hot. He did not know what to think of the other exorcists, anymore. His head was spinning so fast from all he had heard and all that Kaede had done to him. The unexpected kiss was just the icing on the cake.

"Um, exorcists," came Toma's voice through the door. "I just wanted to inform you that we have reached our next stopover."


	3. Chapter 3- Realization

Chapter 3- Realization

It was nighttime when Toma and the exorcists exited the station in Belgium. They checked into a hotel room for the night-one that only had two beds. Lavi and Allen ended up sharing one. Once the lights were out, Lavi rolled over onto his side, his back to Allen. The smaller exorcist found himself unable to sleep after everything he had learned, and his craving to know more refused to let his consciousness rest. Careful not to disturb Lavi's slumber, he turned to face Kaede, who lay in the bed next to theirs, and whispered, "Kaede, are you still awake?"

Allen could barely make out Kaede's face in the darkness, so it was impossible to discern if the other exorcist had heard him based on his facial expression. Allen was only sure he was awake when he heard the other exorcist murmur lethargically, "What is it?"

"So you are awake," Allen said, his hopes of learning more about the newbie exorcist revived.

"Yes, now, what do you want?" Kaede grouched.

Allen winced but was not discouraged. "It's just that, well, I would like to know what happened to you after what Cross did to you that night."

"I didn't intend for you to hear any of that," Kaede reminded him.

Allen breathed out. "I know you didn't, but like I said: Cross never did anything like that to me." He hoped that would be enough to convince Kaede to tell him more.

Fortunately, it was. "You're really curious about that, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Can't we discuss it in the morning? I'm tired, and we'll need energy for the mission." Allen heard a distinct mischievous change in his tone of voice: "Or do you want to talk to me while Lavi can't hear us?"

"No, that's not it-" Allen was interrupted by Kaede's faint sleepy laughter.

"Relax, Hon, I'm messing with you," he mumbled lightly.

Allen's face grew hot, and he was grateful that the darkness prevented Kaede from seeing his redness. He was not sure why the newbie insisted on calling him silly pet names like that, but he figured that it did not really matter. Returning his thoughts to his original request, he mandated quietly, "Then tell me."

Kaede yielded. "Fine. You see, after Cross had his fun with me, he passed out on the floor. I took my chance and ran out of there. Honestly, I don't think he even bothered to look for me."

"How do you know?"Allen questioned.

"I camped out in a nearby alleyway. I didn't hear him call my name anytime that night or in the morning. I figured he didn't care enough to call me back, and I wouldn't have come back, anyway. I went off on my own. We were in Russia, at the time, so I went west. I figured that the closer I came to the Black Order, the more likely I was to be found by a fellow exorcist and taken in. The problem was, I didn't know exactly where the Order was. That was one bit of information I had never gotten out of Cross," Kaede admitted.

"So, you were basically waiting for us to find you?" Allen repeated.

"Not exactly. You see, I ran out of money somewhere in Poland. I was wandering the streets at my wits' end. I was exhausted, hungry, and the only water I could find was in fountains and rivers. I'd tried to steal some food in the marketplace, but I had been caught. The stallkeeper made such a ruckus over it, I wasn't able to take food from anywhere else. I wandered until I ended up lost in the shadiest parts of the city. It was cold, dark, and I knew that, without money, I would die of exposure."

"Didn't anyone try to help you?" Allen asked, unable to fathom the idea that no-one would.

"A few offered to take me to an orphanage, but I _would_ rather have died," Kaede answered. "I was about to give up. I was a nine-year-old kid traveling cross-continent with no money and no reputation. What hope did I have?

"That was when I was approached by a stranger. He was by himself and appeared to be more upper-class. He asked me for my name, and, like an idiot, I told him. He asked me where my parents were, and, even more like a moron, I told him I was alone. He asked me what I was doing out here in the cold, and I responded that I was running away. Remember, I was nine and didn't know any better," he said defensively. When Allen did not protest his excuse, he continued, "I didn't know the dangerous situation I was in. I didn't know how much crucial information I had leaked to a complete stranger. I told him I was hungry and thirsty and cold and would do anything for some money."

"'Anything?' the guy said. He had this evil look in his eyes that should have frightened me into running away, but I didn't flee.

"'Yes,' I told him, 'anything.'"

"I'm sure you can imagine what happened from there. The guy took me back to his house. I'm sure the whole neighborhood would have heard my screams had the guy not put his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. The part I remember best, though, was that he paid me for it. I'll never forget what he said to me: 'It was a pleasure, Nishimura. You know, you could make someone of yourself in this line of work.'"

Allen let loose the breath he had been holding while listening to Kaede's story. "That's horrible, Kaede. I'm so sorry."

"Can you honestly say that after what I did to you?"

To that, Allen had no answer.

"Anyhow," Kaede continued, "scared as I was, I was glad to have money in my pockets again. I spent what I had hitching a ride farther west. When I ran out again, I recalled what the guy from before had said to me. Admittedly, I had taken it to heart. It took every ounce of courage I had, but I needed money. I went up to the richest-looking man I could find and asked him if he wanted to enjoy the evening with me."

Allen's eyes widened. _The whole point of this is to enjoy the evening with you._ He recalled saying those exact words to Kaede the night he had been raped.

"You should have seen the angry look on that guy's face. I thought he was about to hit me, but something seemed to change his mind, and the crude smile he gave me was even scarier than his rage." Silence elapsed between the two exorcists. Allen was too taken aback by the realization he had just had. "What is it?" Kaede asked.

"What is what?" Allen repeated.

"You're being quiet."

"I'm thinking."

"About what?"

"Um…." He was not exactly eager to answer that question, but the only other person in the room besides them was sound asleep, so he confessed, "I was just thinking that that sounds like what I said to you."

"What does?"

"The part about enjoying the night with that guy."

Kaede breathed out in understanding. "I said the same thing to someone who looked rich whenever I ran out of money. At first, I promised myself that I would only do it when I absolutely needed the money, but that didn't last for very long." His voice grew even quieter. "It became a habit. No exorcist found me no matter how far west I went. The older I got, the less hope I had that _anyone_ would find me. I stuck to selling myself. I actually got pretty good at it. With my Innocence being the way it is, I became renowned for my specialty. Whenever someone had a special request for me, they would tell me, 'I'd like to enjoy the evening with you.' It was like code talk."

"Is that why you-?" Allen could not force the rest of his words out.

Kaede understood what he meant, though. "Honestly, Allen, I don't know. Maybe something just clicked in my mind. All I know is that I became so popular that men and women alike would approach me in dark alleyways. Every time was rough, painful, and downright abusive." His voice sounded as though he were trying to contract at least a miniscule amount of humor. "I guess you matched the typical profile so perfectly, I thought you were a new client." He sighed tiredly. "I hope you've heard enough because I'm going to sleep now."

"Wait," Allen stopped him. "you were a prostitute?"

Kaede's voice sounded drowsy as he replied, "Sweetie, by the time I met you, I was a full-blown courtesan," and, with that, he went silent.

Allen assumed he had fallen asleep. He pondered all that Kaede had confided in him. As strange as it sounded, the way he had met Kaede, all the words they had exchanged, fit the client profile Kaede had spoken of. Allen had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Did that really justify his counterpart's actions, though? That question rolled around his mind, answerless, until its constant revolving made Allen tired enough to sleep, so to sleep he went.

When Allen awoke the next morning, Lavi was already prepared to leave, and Kaede was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Allen got out of bed and followed Lavi's example. Soon enough, they were on the train again, en route for the final stretch of their journey.

Once they reached their final destination, Toma led them in the direction of the forest. It was a long, tiring walk, and Allen's legs were somewhat sore by the time they reached the edge of the wood.

"Why don't we split up?" Lavi suggested. "That way, we'll be able to cover more ground."

Allen nodded in agreement. "We should go in pairs."

"Great," Lavi said. "Allen, you can go with me. Kaede, you and Toma can stick together."

"Don't you think the newbie should go with an exorcist with experience?" Kaede pointed out.

Lavi huffed. "Fine." To Allen, he said, "I guess that's you, Allen. You're the only one who can stand him. I'll go with Toma."

Allen was relieved to know that Lavi had not heard his and Kaede's conversation the previous night and nervous at the thought of being alone with the newbie exorcist. "Lavi, why don't you and Kaede try to work out your differences by going together?" he tried to reason.

"Oh, yeah, and let's just pair you up with Kanda 'cause I'm sure you'd appreciate that," Lavi shot back.

Allen sighed in defeat. "Fine, then Kaede will go with me." _Even though Kaede is much worse than Kanda,_ he thought to himself.

Each group went in different directions to search for the Innocence. Allen followed Kaede some feet behind him. "Are you still nervous to be alone with me?" the newbie exorcist asked over his shoulder.

"Would you stop asking me questions you already know the answers to?" Allen asked back.

Kaede sighed. "Even after the conversation we had last night…"

"It's not like what you said makes up for what you did," Allen replied. Although, he was not as sure of himself as he sounded.

They walked in silence for a couple minutes before Kaede spoke again: "So who's Kanda?"

Allen realized that Kaede still barely knew three exorcists at the Order, and Kanda had not been at headquarters since Allen and Lenalee had set off to find the accommodator located in France. He responded to his question with, "He's a jerk who tried to kill me when we first met and then refused to shake my hand because I'm cursed."

"That's harsh. How did you get the curse in the first place?"

That hit Allen's soft spot: Mana. "Pay attention to where you're going."

"Geez, sorry," Kaede said, but the moment he looked forward, he nearly ran into a tree. "Oh."

It was then that Allen's eye activated, not at the sight of the tree before them but at the trees surrounding it. "Kaede!" he yelled. "Get back! Quickly!"

"Huh?" Kaede said as the tree branches reached toward him, grabbing him by the arms. "_Shit!_"

"Innocence, invocate!" Allen cried. His arm responded immediately, growing larger, heavier, covered in steel platelets and spouting white-green fire as his shoulder. He was ready for a fight.

The last thing he expected to hear was, "_Allen!_"

Allen risked turning his head for just a moment to see the last person he had expected to be there. "Road?" he exclaimed just before she tackle-hugged him.

She laughed and said girlishly, "Oh, Allen! I've missed you!"

Allen pushed her off of himself and looked at Kaede, who was murmuring something under his breath. The branches holding him pulled him toward a single tree. Its bark bulged, squishing around him as though to consume him. Allen started toward him to help, but Road grabbed his arm and held him back. "Now, now, none of that, Sweetie. I want you to watch."

"Let me go!" he attempted to pull away from her, but her grip only tightened. He looked forward and saw the point of a candle hovering before his eyes.

He heard Road giggle and say, "Careful, or you'll poke out your eye."

Allen was forced to sit where he was to watch Kaede slowly disappear into the tree.

"Kaede, use it!" Allen cried, not caring if Road heard him. "Use your Innocence!"

The only exposed part of the exorcist was his hand, so Allen was surprised to hear a muffled reply: "Working on it!"

The hand disappeared into the tree.

The tree exploded.

"_Kaede!_"

Allen struggled fearsomely to escape Road's grip, disregarding the candle hovering mere centimeters before his face. He cried out in anger, grief, and frustration all at once. "_No!_"

At first, Road fought to maintain her grip on him, but then she froze, staring in the direction of the burning tree. Allen turned to see what she was looking at.

He caught his breath.

"God damn," Kaede said, stepping out of the fire like it had no effect on him whatsoever. "If I didn't know any better, I might think you were actually worried about me, Allen."

"How did you survive, exorcist?" Road hissed at him.

"Innocence-that's how," he replied shortly. He reached out his hand. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll have you take your grubby hands off of Allen."

Road hugged Allen and snapped, "What if I don't want to?"

Kaede grinned at her like she was trying to be cute. He mumbled something while watching her carefully, and, slowly, her grip around Allen slackened. The newbie exorcist knelt down and took Allen by the arm to pull him away from his captor.

Road's gaze focused on Kaede. "Stupid exorcist! Do you know whom I am?"

"No, I'm afraid I don't," he replied, not really seeming to care, either.

"Then you have no idea with whom you're dealing," she shrieked, grabbing the candle that had been pointing at Allen's face and swinging to stab Kaede. Allen raised his giant metal-plated left hand in front of the two of them and winced as Road stabbed the back of it.

"Kaede, get back! You don't know how effective your Innocence will be against a Noah." Allen tried to use his right hand to push the other exorcist back, but he stood firmly. "Kaede-"

"It's alright, Allen. It worked earlier," the other exorcist replied.

"What?" Allen said, befuddled.

"When I convinced her to let you go."

"You know, you two should _really_ pay attention to the fight, rather than each other," came Road's enraged voice.

"_Beansprout!_" a difference voice called across the forest.

Had they not been in the middle of a fight, Allen's first instinct would have been to smack the nearest Kanda or Lavi in the proximity, but, if anything, he was relieved to see Lavi's figure approaching them through the trees. Kaede seemed to notice their companion, as well. "You're late," the newbie said impatiently.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Lavi responded.

Road sounded irritated. "You exorcists are such _pests,_" she spat. Then, the space around the exorcists and herself changed, becoming darker and filled with a purple haze. Allen had seen this place before, with its Christmas-wrapped packages and floating forgotten toys. It was Road's dream world, the place where she ruled as goddess.

"Why did you take us here?" Allen demanded, but she was nowhere in sight.

"First of all, where are we?" Kaede inquired.

"We're in Road's dream world," Allen answered. "This seems to be one of her abilities as a Noah."

"Who are the Noah?"

"You honestly don't know?" came Road's bodiless voice from all around them. She sounded amused by his ignorance. "Exorcist, we are the true apostles of god. We're human but better. You can call us superhuman because we carry Noah's genes. I am Road Kamelot. Allen Walker already knows me. We've played together before."

As she spoke, Allen could hear the voice moving, focusing until it seemed to be coming from behind his friends and himself. He turned, but what he saw was not Road Kamelot. It was a puppet, its expression comical and mocking. He demanded again, "Road, why did you bring us here?"

"I thought that if you wanted to play three to one, we would play by _my_ rules in _my_ world."

Kaede's tone was incredulous as he repeated, "_Play?_"

"Don't be fooled, Kaede. She isn't talking cards and dice," Lavi clarified, pulling his Innocence, his hammer, from its sheath on his calf and enlarging it to its regular size.

"Whatever it is, we'll beat it," Kaede assured confidently.

"Don't underestimate her power," Allen warned, planting his feet, expecting an attack from anywhere.

That was when the forest from the real world sprung up around them, growing out of the ground in mere seconds. Allen's left eye immediately reacted. Every last one of the trees surrounding them as an Akuma. "Guys, be careful! They're all Akuma!" he warned the others.

As if in confirmation, the trees morphed into level two Akuma. Allen heard Road's laughter as her puppet hovered above their heads, taunting, "You know, when Earl Millenium sent me to kill the blue-haired exorcist, I was really expecting a challenge. I must say, I'm disappointed."

All around the exorcists, the level two Akuma prepared to attack, raising weapons and claws, licking lips avariciously. That was when Allen pieced together that there was no Innocence to be found. "Watch out!" he yelled as several airborne Akuma fired missile-like bullets at them. He flung Kaede and himself to the ground while Lavi commanded his hammer to grow in order to block the attack. The red-haired exorcist jumped into the air with his giant hammer, hitting three Akuma at once.

Lavi called back to his comrades, "What're you waiting for?"

Kaede pushed Allen's arm off of himself and jumped on top of the nearest Akuma. Allen barely had time to dodge an attack from a different Akuma and even less time to morph his arm into a gun. He shot the Akuma that had attacked him out of the air. Then, he refocused on Kaede. The exorcist was kneeling atop the same Akuma's head as before, his eyes closed tightly in concentration, unaware of the two other Akuma about to pounce on him. Allen immediately shot at them to help the newbie exorcist. Not a moment later, the Akuma beneath Kaede opened its eyes and mouth wide in shock, and, a split second after Kaede jumped from its head, it bulged, inflated like an abscess, and exploded in a burst of toxic gas.

Kaede landed on the head of a neighboring Akuma just as Lavi did. Allen helped the newbie take down Akuma after Akuma without being shot. The trouble was, he was slow due to his low synchronization rate with his Innocence.

Allen noticed Lavi jump to the ground, raise his mighty hammer, and slam a large Fire Seal into the ground. "Hiban!"

In response, a giant snake composed entirely of flames arose from the Seal to consume about ten Akuma at once, but that was a miniscule number in comparison to the grandiose number of Akuma that still walked, floated, and flew around them.

"_How are we supposed to beat this?_" Kaede shouted, his confidence from earlier sounding as if it had faded.

"You _can't _beat us, exorcists," Road's puppet mocked.

Kaede thought for a moment, then glared at it. "What a coward."

"_Excuse_ me?" the puppet cried indignantly.

"You won't face us yourself," Kaede tsked.

"You misunderstand, exorcist. I don't _need_ to face you, myself." Raising its arms, Road's puppet ordered, "Sick 'em, Akuma."

All of the Akuma gathered close together to attack them all at once like a pack of rabid dogs. Allen looked to Kaede as the newbie exorcist jumped toward him from the head of his Akuma. Lavi joined them, as well, but there was nowhere to run to. Allen could only hope that Kaede had some plan in mind after provoking the Noah like this.

Fortunately, he did: "Stay close together. I don't want any of us getting hurt. Lavi, you're going to have to make at least three Fire Seals to take them all out. Can you do that?"

Lavi seemed intrigued by this idea. He nodded in the affirmative. "I sure can."

Slamming his hammer on the ground around them three times, three fire snakes arose to consume all of the drawn Akuma. The machines were too close to get away and, therefore, helpless to Lavi's relentless fire power. All were destroyed, and once that was done, Allen turned to face Road Kamelot's puppet. "Let us out, Road! We beat them all."

"I thought I already told you why I brought you here," the puppet reminded them. "I'm here to eliminate the blue-haired exorcist, and you'd best not get in my way!" Her puppet swooped down to hover right in front of Allen's face. "If you don't want to get yourself killed, you'll get out of my way. I'd hate to see someone as adorable as you go to waste, Allen Walker, so step aside."

That was when Allen felt a pair of arms come over his shoulders, and the back of his head pressed to someone's chest. The hands at the ends of the arms grabbed the sides of Road's head. "You won't touch one hair on his adorable head!"

Allen knew this voice.

It was Kaede's.

The puppet's face fell. Its eyes widened in shock, and Road screamed in agony as Kaede dug his fingers like claws into its scalp. His silver knucklets glowed bright white-green with Innocence, and Allen could hear the immense amount of power he was putting into his struggle with the Noah through his gasps and grunts. He was caught in the middle of their plight, so he attempted to escape by slipping down through Kaede's arms. However, the newbie exorcist locked him in place by tightening his arms on the sides of his neck. Allen glanced at him, but Kaede was too focused on Road. "Kaede, what're you-?"

"Don't move," Kaede ordered in a low voice.

"Why?" Allen inquired.

"I'm not sure what it is, but I've never felt this synchronized in my life," Kaede replied. "It's like there's power coursing all around me. I don't want to change anything right now and ruin it."

Road's puppet let loose another cry-one that nearly split Allen's eardrums.

"Just...a little…more," Kaede shouted as the puppet screamed again.

As much as Allen loathed Road, the sight of a human being in agony like this was too much for him to bear. At this close proximity, he could see tears running down her cheeks, hear her choking sobs of pain. Unable to watch it any longer, he cried, "Kaede, stop! You're killing her!"

Kaede looked at Allen for the first time, and then he and Allen noticed the purple haze disappearing around them, returning them to the real world. Kaede released his grip on Road's head, and she fell onto her back. He glared at Allen and said frustratedly, "Why did you stop me?"

"You would have killed her," Allen responded.

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"Allen gets pretty sentimental when it comes to people, even if they are Noah," Lavi answered for Allen.

"Tsk," was all Kaede could respond with. Then, changing subjects, he stated, "So, there isn't any Innocence to collect?"

"I don't think so, but it couldn't hurt to look around, right?" Lavi said. "Especially after we came all this way."

"You're not going anywhere."

Allen watched in surprise as Road Kamelot shakily rose to her feet, spitting out blood. "I'll kill you before you take one step away from this place."

Candles with surgical tips seemed to come out of nowhere, surrounding the three exorcists, aimed to pierce them. Road said, "Consider this payback." She looked at Allen and smirked.

"Kaede!" Lavi cried just before four candles stabbed themselves into the newbie's back.

Allen froze. He had been expecting Road to attack _him_ because of the smirk she had given him. That had only been a distraction.

Kaede gasped in pain. Allen turned to see him pull the candles out of his back and throw them on the ground. He heard him breathing hard, a trail of blood tracing itself from the corner of his mouth to his chin. The newbie looked up at Road, then toward Allen. "Get over here," he ordered the other exorcist.

"What?" Allen did not have a chance to protest. Kaede had already taken him by the arm and pulled him close.

"I need my synchronization rate to increase," Kaede turned his gaze toward Road. Although Allen did not know what he meant by that, he did not resist the other exorcist. Rather, he watched as Kaede reached out his hand toward Road. "_Let us go!_" he mandated loudly.

Road grabbed her head. In her lapse of concentration, the candles surrounding the exorcists fell to the ground. Slowly, a door rose behind her. Then, the look in her eyes disapproving of what she did next, she turned and stepped through the checkered door she had summoned-her own door-before the gaitway disappeared behind her.

Kaede collapsed, panting, to the ground.

"Whoa, are you alright?" Lavi asked, kneeling beside him.

Kaede nodded reassuringly and looked at Allen in his arms. "Thanks for the help."

"I still don't understand what I did to be thanked for," the smaller exorcist stated, lightly rubbing the sides of his neck to help alleviate the pressure of being squeezed by Kaede's strong arms.

"My synchronization rate seems to increase whenever you're close to me," Kaede replied. He then winced in pain, and Allen recalled the wound he had received from Road's candles.

Allen separated himself from Kaede in order to take a better look at the wounds. Seeing the gruesome injuries, he said, "We've got to get you back to headquarters. They'll be able to treat you, there."

"Aw, you actually _do_ care about me," Kaede chuckled once, but Allen could see the pain it caused him when it turned into a gasp.

Before Allen could regard this remark, Lavi piped up, "I'll stay behind to search for the Innocence in case there is any, but I have to ask: Why _wouldn't _Allen care for you?"

Kaede gave Allen an inquisitive look, as if asking, _Aren't you going to tell him?_

Allen paled. No. There was no way he could tell Lavi. Not here. Not now. He pleaded with Kaede with his eyes, but the newbie exorcist paid him no heed. "If you won't tell him, then I will. After all," he said, his usual smirk returning, "we wouldn't want to play favorites now, would we, Allen?"

Allen gulped and looked at Lavi, who appeared to be very confused. Allen tried to choke the words out, "I...I…" He looked to Kaede again, but the newbie exorcist raised an eyebrow at his stalling and motioned for him to go on. Taking a deep breath, Allen managed to say, "Kaede is the one who...he...he raped me."


	4. Chapter 4- Absolution

Chapter 4- Absolution

Lavi's gaze darkened. He seemed to be taking in what Allen had just said, and Allen was nervous as to how he would react. The red-haired exorcist did not say anything for a long while. He stared at the ground in deep thought. Allen considered saying something, but he did not. He had already said enough as it was.

Allen looked at Kaede's wounds. They needed to be cared for at the nearest hospital. He stepped toward the newbie exorcist, but stopped when he heard Lavi whisper, "Is it true, Allen?"

Allen looked over at Lavi. He did not know what to say other than, "Yes."

Lavi fell silent again, his hands pressing to his face. Allen could tell he was pissed. "Are you alright, Lavi?" he tried.

Lavi removed his hands from his face and reached for his hammer. Slowly, his bangs still hiding his face, he raised his Innocence.

"Uh, Lavi? What are you doing?" Allen asked him.

His friend did not reply to his inquiry. Lavi lifted his gaze so that Allen saw the murderous glint in his eyes just a split second too late. "_You bitch!_" he slammed his hammer down on Kaede.

The sound resonated like thunder as the ground split in several different directions where Kaede had been kneeling just a moment earlier.

Toma ran out from behind a tree and yelled, "_Lavi! Kaede!_" in unison with Allen.

Kaede ducked as his enraged pursuer aimed a deadly sideways blow at his head. Allen heard Lavi yell, "Grow! Grow! Grow!"

In response, Lavi's hammer grew tremendously large, big enough to crush a small house.

"Lavi! Stop!" Allen yelled, helping Kaede up.

Lavi did not appear to have heard him. Raising the hammer high above Allen's and Kaede's heads, he barked, "_Get out of the way, Allen! I'm going to fucking kill him!_"

Allen reactivated his Innocence and pushed against Lavi's "Stop it!"

"_Move!_" Lavi screamed horribly. His eyes were wide with passionate fury.

Allen pushed against Lavi's Innocence, refusing to move, and after a while, he pulled back his Innocence. He shrunk the hammer down to travelling size and returned it to the sheath on his calf. Allen sighed, relieved that Lavi had recalled his decision to kill one of the few exorcists the Order had left.

Allen was moving to help Kaede stand when he saw Lavi running toward him, fists ready. "Wait, Lavi, what are you-?"

Lavi pushed Kaede back against a tree and punched him in the gut. The other exorcist gasped in pain, but he did not seem to try to fight back or even defend himself from Lavi's fearsome and relentless blows.

Allen ran up to help, but Kaede stopped him. "Let him get his anger ou-" Kaede was cut off by another punch.

Allen could not bear to watch Lavi rain down blows on a fellow exorcist, but he forced himself to stay where he was. Guiltily, some part of him was pleased to see the retribution being made on his behalf, but his morality banished that thought from his mind immediately.

Once Lavi had stopped punching Kaede, the victim spat blood onto the ground and glared at him. "Are you done yet?"

Rage renewed in Lavi's deep green eye. He raised his fist once more, but, unable to watch this pointless violence any longer, Allen rushed toward his friend and grabbed his arm with both hands before he could swing again. "Lavi, please, _stop!_"

Lavi looked at Allen, and hesitantly lowered his hand. He dropped Kaede to the ground. He punched the tree and yelled, "I can't believe this!"

As angry as his voice was, Allen could see his hand trembling against the bark of the tree. Allen knelt down and looked at Kaede to see if he was okay. He lifted the newbie exorcist off the ground and turned him over in his lap to examine his bruised and battered face.

Allen put his hand on Kaede's cheek. "Are you okay?"

Kaede grinned wryly at him and replied, "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"God _dammit_, Allen!"

Kaede and Allen looked up to see Lavi's red face. His eye was clenched shut. "How-?" he started. He choked up, but he forced himself to continue: "Kaede, how could you? How could you be so damn heartless?"

Kaede sat up and leaned against the tree. He sighed and looked at Allen. "It wasn't my intention to rape him," he said calmly. "I don't really get it myself...but when Allen said 'Enjoy the night with you' I just kind of went into courtesan mode."

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?" Lavi yelled savagely.

"My past." Kaede said simply, still looking at Allen. "I was a prostitute until Allen and Lenalee found me. That night I raped Allen…" He looked hard into the smaller exorcist's gray eyes, like he was speaking to him instead of to Lavi. "I thought Allen wanted my services. By the time I realized he did not, I was too far in to stop myself."

"So you didn't?" Lavi raged.

"I just said that, didn't I?" Abruptly, Kaede stepped toward Allen. He cupped one hand against his cheek and pressed the fingers of his other hand to the underside of his jaw to tilt his chin upward.

Allen blinked uncertainly. What was Kaede-?

Kaede interrupted Allen's thought by bringing his own face close and pressing his cool lips against his. The smaller exorcist should have grown to expect this by now, but it seemed like every time Kaede pulled him in and kissed him was a surprise. When the taller boy pulled away, he said, "I'm sorry I did that to you, Allen. I really, truly am."

How was Allen supposed to think of a proper answer to any of Kaede's questions if the newbie was always stealing it off of his lips? His face grew hot, and he fumbled for words: "I...just-I mean, I-"

"_Don't you fucking touch him!_" Lavi kicked Kaede sideways, causing the taller boy to stumble. The red-haired exorcist pulled Allen back. "Do you seriously think he could forgive you for _raping_ him?" His arms were tight around Allen's small frame-powerful and protective.

Kaede regained his footing, looked up at Lavi, and dared, "Why don't you tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Allen asked, blinking in confusion. When nobody responded to his question, he focused on Lavi's face and expanded, "What is it you have to tell me?"

Still, the Bookman did not reply.

"Lavi…?"

His arms tightened around Allen-so much so that the smaller exorcist could feel Lavi's heart beating painfully fast. _He's nervous? _he noted.

"Lavi, we're waiting. _He's _waiting," Kaede taunted him.

Lavi's arms squeezed painfully hard around Allen. "Ow, Lavi. That hurts."

The Bookman finally released him. Allen sat up and turned to see Lavi's giving Kaede a white-hot glare. Kaede, however, merely chuckled, stood, and stepped toward them. "Suit yourself, Lavi." He probably would have said more, but, instead, he collapsed to the ground.

Allen rushed to Kaede's side and helped him up. With Kaede's arm draped over his shoulder, Allen said to Lavi, "We have to get him medical attention."

Lavi turned around and said, "I'm going to stay to look for the Innocence." He looked at Toma and said, "Could you go with them? I don't even want to _consider_ leaving Allen alone with him." Lavi glanced at Allen one last time, then delved into the forest.

Toma walked to Kaede's other side and helped him up. Together, the Finder and the exorcist carried him out of the forest. Allen looked at Toma and said, "Are there any hospitals around here?"

"Yes, there's one that treats exorcists in the town we were last in." Toma replied.

Allen nodded, and they went in the direction of the town. The long walk practically killed his back and feet, but, after a few hours, they reached the entrance to the small German town. Allen could not help letting loose a breath of relief.

"Heh, you actually walked me all this way." Kaede chuckled. "Are you sure you don't care about me?"

"I never said I didn't care about you." Allen said, panting.

Kaede seemed to be about to come up with a witty remark, but he winced in pain once again.

Toma led them in the direction of the hospital. It was a tall building that reached toward the gloomy gray sky. When they walked inside, Toma introduced them, and the nurse took Kaede to the E.R. Allen and the Finder sat in the waiting room for several hours before the nurse rejoined them and told them that Kaede was on his way to recovery. "You may visit him now, if you'd like."

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea." Allen nodded as he spoke.

The nurse guided them past several rooms along a dimly-lit hallway. One room had ominous moaning sounds coming from it that both stirred Allen's heart and made his skin crawl.

Eventually, the nurse stopped and opened the door to a room with a single bed, a window that let in the gloomy light, a few chairs, and a small table. Occupying the bed was Kaede, a look of interest on his face. His lips curled into a smile, and he sat up upon seeing them. White bandages were wrapped around his chest and attached to several parts of his face.

"Mr. Nishimura, I must insist that you stay lying down until your injuries have healed more fully," the nurse mandated motherly.

"I'll be fine," Kaede retorted, but as he said it, he winced in pain.

The nurse huffed, stepped purposefully to the side of Kaede's bed, and, taking him carefully by the shoulders, laid his head back on the pillow next to his hand, grumbling, "You exorcists never take care of yourselves. It's no wonder there are so few of you." After pulling the blanket over his shoulders, she stepped back and said to Allen and Toma, "I'll leave you three alone,"-her gaze shifted to Kaede once more- "But I don't want to see your trying to get up before you've had time to heal."

"You won't," Kaede assured her with a grin.

With that, the nurse stepped out, shutting the door behind her and leaving Allen, Toma, and the patient alone together. Kaede's gaze met Allen's. "I'll say again: I'm surprised you actually carried me all this way."

"It wasn't exactly 'carrying'," Allen reminded him.

"Still, that was a _long_ walk."

"The Order can't afford to lose any exorcists."

"Is that the only reason you brought me here to be treated?"

Allen was not sure how to respond to that. The truth was, it was not the only reason. Certainly, it was one, but Allen's other motives hit a bit closer to home than that. Maybe something about the newbie's story had moved him. Maybe it was because he did not like to see others get hurt. Maybe it was…

Maybe, somewhere in the unexplored regions of his heart, he really did care.

Despite all that had happened, he just might have cared about him.

About Kaede.

That concept was difficult to fathom, but as much as Allen's mind repelled the idea, his heart felt oddly warm it. He stepped forward, his body seeming to move of its own accord. He pulled up a chair and sat next to him. Reaching out his left hand, he took Kaede's in it.

"Your hand-you need to get it bandaged." Kaede said, looking at Allen's hand.

Allen knew he was referring to the wound Road had inflicted on him earlier. "I'm fine...and I do forgive you." He leaned over the bed and put his forehead against Kaede's to show he was telling the truth.

Lavi may as well have been stumbling around blind. He had yet to recover from what had happened, and it all still boiled inside. Why? Why had Allen stopped him? Lavi wondered who else knew about Kaede's having raped Allen.

_Allen, _his name pierced his thoughts, _Allen, Allen, _"Allen." He stopped and held himself up using a tree. "Allen," He murmured again, choking up in spite of himself. He put a hand to his mouth to help control himself. He was a Bookman. He was not supposed to get so emotional. He was not even allowed to fall in love. He had seen countless wars, deaths, crimes, and tragedies. Allen's news should have meant nothing to him. It was just another tragedy in the badly woven tapestry of history.

"Allen."

Yet, he had completely lost his cool. He had allowed his anger to control him. He had nearly beaten Kaede to death. He probably would have if Allen had not stopped him.

"Allen."

His face burned. His eyes stung painfully. A single hiccup shook his frame. No. Why was he doing this? He was a Bookman, and Bookmen did not cry.

"Allen, I-"

He knew why.

"I-"

It went against the number one rule of being a Bookman, but it was the truth.

"I love you."

He slumped against the trunk of the tree, the tears rolling endlessly down his cheeks. His vocal admittance seemed to have lightened him, if only a little. He could not shake off the thought that Allen was with that jerk right now. What was he thinking? What was he doing at this moment? It was not like he had to get too close to Kaede while the newbie was in the hospital, and Toma was there. Allen was not dumb enough to end up alone with someone who had hurt him like that, and Lavi had assured that Kaede would not be able to stand for a few days without help (Road's candles had assisted that cause).

These thoughts reassured him slightly. Maybe now he would be able to focus on finding the Innocence that probably did not exist here. He started to move, but his ankles would not comply with his will. "What the-?"

That was when he saw the strangest thing: tree roots were wrapping themselves around his legs, climbing up his calves and thighs. Reactively, he tried to kick out, but the roots only tightened on him. He flung his hand downward to tear them off, but both his wrists were caught by overhanging branches. "Ah, _what the hell?_"

The roots wrapped around his hips and midriff, pulling him into the ground. Lavi struggled frantically to free himself, but every time he tried, the roots wrapped themselves more tightly around him. He could not grab his hammer from its sheath on his calf. What was he to do?

Once the roots had a firm grasp on his chest, the branches released his wrists. He struggled, grappling with the roots squeezing his torso. They began to pull him downward. The earth gave way for them. Dirt began piling into his boots, then burying his knees. It felt as though the ground were swallowing him. "Dammit, _let me go!_"

Half of him was covered with dirt, now. The roots tied his arms together behind his back.

"_No!_"

Lavi screamed. The ground rose to his stomach, his chest, his neck. He turned his face upward, desperately struggling for the surface, for air, for life. Dirt piled on his face. He shut his eye and mouth, breathed the dirt out of his nose. He was hopelessly trapped. Terror overwhelmed him. Why was this happening? Was this it? Was this how he would die? It was too easy. Too easy. Too easy. This could not be it. Was this an Akuma? Was he going to die at the hands of one measly level two?

He felt his handkerchief slip from his hair.

Then, there was darkness.

As Allen's forehead was against Kaede's, he felt a pair of lips meet his. Allen pulled away, but only far enough to remove Kaede's lips. The other exorcist's hand went to the back of Allen's head and pulled him into a position in which the patient could whisper into his ear. "Kiss me."

Allen pulled back further to look him in the eye. He thought about it for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Slowly, he leaned in toward him, his heartbeat racing, faster and faster. He hoped Kaede could not hear it. Once his lips met Kaede's he felt like his heart was going to burst.

Allen pulled away after a bit, his face beet red. He looked at Kaede as his heart beat started to slow down. The patient was smiling. Kaede was wearing a real smile. It was not mocking, teasing, or a smirk. It was a warm, _happy_ smile. The idea that Kaede was actually happy made Allen gleeful, as well. Kaede always seemed to mock or tease people like Lavi, but whenever he spoke about something serious or about Allen he seemed to show how he was truly feeling.

Allen put his hand on the back of Kaede's head and kissed him again, this time more passionately. He was not nervous about this kiss. Maybe it was because it was his idea this time. Maybe he wanted to see Kaede's whole-hearted joy last longer. He did not know. After a longer period of time than before, Allen pulled away and hugged him. His heart was still beating fast, but at this point he did not care if Kaede could feel it.

Kaede's next chuckle made Allen worry that he had done something wrong. He started to lift himself from Kaede, but the patient pressed a reassuring hand to the back of his head and lowered him to rest against his chest again. "Don't worry, Allen," he comforted him, as though he had read his mind. "I'm just laughing because it looks like we scared off Toma."

Allen turned his head to look toward the door. As Kaede had said, Toma had vacated the premises. Of course, Allen understood why. He pulled away from Kaede, put his hand on his cheek and said, "You should rest."

"Where are you going?"

Allen pulled his hand away from Kaede's face and said, "Toma and I need to go find Lavi." he turned and started to leave the room.

"Hey, Allen?" Kaede called to him.

Allen turned.

"Good luck."

He still had that warm smile on his face.

Once they reached the forest again, Allen leaned on his knees and said, "_Ugh_, if I have to make that walk one more time, I swear to god…"

"Um, exorcist, Sir, we're going to have to..." Toma recalled him.

"Don't remind me," Allen said with a sigh. "By the way, where's Timcanpy? We could use him to contact Lavi's golem if we knew to where he flew." In response, Allen felt something moving down his sleeve and saw Tim fly out. Straightening himself, he acknowledged, "Oh, there you are." The golem always seemed to arrive just when he was needed most. "Can you contact Lavi's golem, please?"

The gold golem obediently opened its mouth to reveal the visual from Lavi's golem. However, what Allen and Toma saw was a strange sight: It was the image of a large tree.

"Where is Lavi, though?" Allen asked.

As if in reply, the visual produced by Lavi's golem lowered to show overturned dirt tangled by knotted swollen roots. It was what sat on top of the reborn ground that made Allen's blood run cold.

It was a green and black handkerchief.

It was Lavi's.

Around an hour later, Allen and Toma found the tree where they had seen Lavi's handkerchief. Allen picked it up and put it in his pocket. He looked around. "Toma, do you see anything?" he asked the Finder.

"No, I haven't seen anything." Toma responded.

Allen sighed and examined the ground. It looked like someone had dug it up and then put the dirt back in the hole. He activated his Innocence and started digging in hopes of finding Lavi. Allen clawed the ground with his activated arm, digging up huge piles of dirt and ripping up roots, growing more and more frantic with each stroke. "Lavi, where are you?"

He dug a deep hole in that area, then moved to digging under the tree. There was still no sign of Lavi. He was listening for even the slightest breath of air, hoping to god that he would hear one. "Lavi!" he called out again, "Toma, take a look around. See if you can find any clues as to his whereabouts."

"Yes, exorcist, Sir," Allen heard Toma's voice from above.

Allen returned to digging the hole and calling out Lavi's name. As he dug he found a ripped piece of black fabric. He dug faster and more carefully so that he did not accidentally hurt Lavi if he were there.

_Lavi. Please, god, let him be okay. _Allen dug further, and that was when he heard a distinctive _rip_. The claw of his Innocence had caught on a black fabric attached to the ground. Allen reverted his weapon to its semi-human form and started flinging clods of moist earth out of his way. He revealed tainted white fabric, silver buttons, and the crest of the Black Order. "_Lavi!_" He yelled, digging toward his head. He noticed that Lavi's chest was moving up and down steadily. He was alive.

Allen dug up his head and studied him carefully. He was unconscious, and he held something in a death grip in front of his face. Allen pulled Lavi out of the hole, Toma ran over to help. "Allen, his hands!" Toma pointed out the whitish-green glow sneaking through Lavi's fingers.

"He found the Innocence," Allen noted, surprised. They laid Lavi on the ground and checked to see if he had been attacked. Allen looked at the tree and saw the overturned ground returning to normal. "The tree really _did_ have Innocence, after all." Allen said, awestruck. "I have a feeling that it may be the only thing keeping him alive right now."

"What should we do, exorcist, Sir?" Toma questioned.

"He's going to need oxygen. We'll have to take him back to the hospital, too."

"But we can't carry him without losing the Innocence, can we?"

"We can certainly try. Innocence, invocate!" Allen's Innocence obeyed his will. With his giant hand, he lifted Lavi's limp form. It was not the most practical or comfortable way to carry a human being, and Allen did not want to imagine how exhausted he would be by the end of the (hopefully) last return trip. Still, he gritted his teeth and trudged the all-too-familiar way out of the forest.


	5. Chapter 5- Disclosure

Chapter 5- Disclosure

Lavi could not see anything, but he could feel things. He recalled a sucking sensation in his nose. Because of it, he found himself breathing more easily. He felt a pair of lips on his, and his lungs filled up with air. They were warm, soft, revitalizing. He wondered whose lips these were that brought life back into him. Were they Allen's? That thought caused a warmth to spread through him. After all, they were exactly how he would have imagined them to be. The idea consumed his mind. He longed to press back against them, longed to feel them further, craved to wrap his arms around Allen's lean form, but his body would not comply with his desires. He felt frozen, numb. For a moment, he feared he was dead. When the lips left his own, those fears grew in him, teething on his bones until despair was nearly upon him. Then, the lips returned, breathed into him once more. His brain registered the transfer. He felt vitality flow into his limbs, driving away the numbness. Warmth spread through him again. Finally, he opened his eye.

He blinked a couple of times, trying to take in his blurry surroundings. He was covered by cottony white sheets. He examined the person before him, the one who had brought life back into him. The person had pulled away by this point, so Lavi could see his face. It was _definitely _not Allen. Once his vision had cleared, he could see that it was a doctor wearing a long white coat. Allen was not even in the room with him.

"Ah, you're awake," the doctor noted.

"Are my friends here?" Lavi inquired.

"Are you referring to the other exorcists?"

Lavi nodded.

"I'll tell the nurse to bring them in," the doctor assured him, standing and leaving the room.

Only about a minute passed before Allen and Toma walked into the room. "Lavi!" Allen exclaimed happily, rushing to his bedside.

"Hi, Allen," Lavi said in his usual cheerful voice. He then faltered, recalling something important, "Um, where is the Innocence?"

"Oh, don't worry about that," Allen assured him. He reached into his cloak and pulled out the white-green Innocence that Lavi had collected earlier.

As Allen pulled out the Innocence, he felt his hand brush the other item in his pocket. Once Lavi had taken a look at the Innocence, he returned it to his pocket, brought out the other item, and pressed it into Lavi's hand. It was the red-haired exorcist's handkerchief. "You dropped this earlier," he explained.

"Oh, thanks, Allen. I was wondering where that went."

"No problem." Allen grinned and nodded. He felt the smile melt off of his face, though. "What happened out there, anyway?"

Lavi sat up and said to the bedsheets, "I was looking for the Innocence. I had stopped to take a break when I was pulled into the ground by the roots of a tree. I found the Innocence underground. I could've sworn I was going to die down there, but it seems like the Innocence kept me alive long enough for you to save me."

"You looked close to death when we found you," Allen pointed out. "Seriously, though, a tree pulled you into the ground? That sounds awfully strange to me."

"It was exactly like Toma said: the tree just...well, tried to eat me. At least we got the Innocence, and nobody died, right?" His hands tightened on the sheets. "How is Kaede?"

Allen was not quite sure how to answer that question. "Um, he's recovering from his injuries, if that's what you mean. We probably won't be able to go back to the Order for a few days though. He's in pretty bad shape."

Lavi's voice dropped in pitch and volume. "I'm...sorry…about that…."

"Lavi?" Allen tried. When the other exorcist did not reply, he ordered, "Lavi, look at me."

Still, Lavi did not comply.

Allen reached out and, placing the gloved fingers of his left hand under Lavi's chin, lifted his face so that he would look Allen in the eyes. "Lavi, you were only trying to defend me. I couldn't get mad at you for that. Friends are supposed to defend each other."

Lavi sighed. "Right,"-He pulled Allen's hand away.-"but I'm a Bookman. I shouldn't have lost my cool like that."

"You're also human. It's normal to have emotions," Allen reminded him.

A strange look came into Lavi's eyes. He opened his mouth to say something. His hand stretched toward Allen, but that was when Toma interjected, "Um, exorcist, Sir, if he's fully healed, then perhaps we should return to Kaede for the time being."

Allen looked back to the Finder. "Right. We'll go visit him." To Lavi, he asked carefully, "Will you come with us?"

"Um, I guess so," Lavi replied slowly. "I'll just wait in the hallway if need be." He rose from his bed. Together, the two exorcists and the Finder made their way to Kaede's room. When they arrived, Allen noticed that Kaede was sleeping peacefully under his thick covers. Allen took the chair at his bedside, Lavi leaned against the opposite wall, and Toma stood in the doorway. A silence elapsed, broken only by the quiet sound of the patient's deep even breathing. Allen found himself being lulled by the sound. It put him in a semi-conscious state, relaxing his mind. He was only pulled back into reality when he heard Lavi comment, "Wow, I bashed him up pretty badly, didn't I?"

"You and Road," Allen added.

Lavi chuckled half-heartedly. "Yeah, sorry about that. I got myself into quite a tizzy, but, Allen,"-His expression became grave.-"are you sure you want him to get away with that? Aren't you going to do something about it?"

Allen lowered his gaze. A moment passed before he replied, "What's done is done. There isn't anything we can do to change what happened. He's already apologized to me, and I've already forgiven him."

"But, Allen," Lavi protested, his voice sounding disheartened, "what he did to you is incredibly serious. Can you really just let it slide like this?"

"I already said that I've forgiven him, Lavi."

Lavi did not seem satisfied with that response, but he did not press the matter further.

Allen heard a rustling beside him. He turned to see Kaede sitting up. "How are you feeling, Kaede?" Allen asked.

"Much better, thanks," Kaede replied, rubbing the back of his head. He looked up. "I see you brought your friend. Did you find any Innocence?"

"Actually, we did. Apparently, there really _was _a man-eating tree in that forest. That was the source of the Innocence," Allen briefed.

"Oh, really? I thought they were all Akuma," Kaede said jokingly.

Allen rolled his eyes, slightly amused by Kaede's consistent humor. "We'll be going back to the Order as soon as you're well enough to travel."

Kaede nodded and asked, "Was everything okay when you guys met up?"

"Actually..." Allen explained the story of how they had found Lavi in a coma-like state. He also told Kaede the short story of his recovery.

Kaede's violet eyes moved slyly in Lavi's direction. "At least he survived, and we got what we came for."

"Yes, at least we got what we came for…" Allen said wistfully.

"Is something wrong, Allen?" Kaede questioned.

Allen looked at the floor. Blood ran hot through his neck and face. "No, nothing's wrong." _I just wonder what's in store for-_

His thought was interrupted by Kaede's taking his face in his hands and turning his head to look him in the eyes. They watched each other for a long time. It were as though Kaede were trying to read his mind. Their connection was only disrupted when a nurse walked in.

"Visiting hours are over. I'm afraid you boys will have to leave."

Allen started to stand, but when he felt a pressure from Kaede's hand on the back of his neck, he found himself leaning over the bed. His cheek brushed against Kaede's as his slightly husky voice whispered into his ear, "Allen, when I'm back on my feet again, will you go on a date with me? No Finders, no other exorcists, no missions, Akuma, or Noah-just you and me, wherever you wish to be. What do you say?"

Allen felt his face heat up. What was he to say? He could not think of any words, so he simply nodded. He felt Kaede's grip loosen from his neck. Allen pulled his face away, only to find himself ensnared by Kaede's deep violet eyes. They were narrowed, obscured by his heavy black lashes. The look in his eyes made Allen's face heat up even more.

"Allen, come on," Lavi's voice interrupted. "The nurse won't be too pleased if she has to drag you out of here."

Allen stood up straight and turned to follow Lavi. Toma and Lavi left the room before him, but he stopped in the doorway and turned his head to see Kaede one more time. The nurse was now occupying the chair Allen had been in just a moment before, tending to his bandages.

"Allen?" Toma called to him. Allen noticed him gesturing for their departure.

Sighing, Allen turned and followed his _nakama_ out through the door.

Lavi did not speak to Allen throughout dinner (which they had at a local café), and the only words he emitted back at the hotel were to communicate to Komui through his golem that they had retrieved the Innocence and would head back to Headquarters once Kaede was fit to travel. He did not speak when Toma informed him and Allen that he would be heading back to the Order ahead of them to receive his own next assignment. Allen and Lavi saw him off outside of the hotel before returning to their room.

Lavi still did not speak to Allen as the two of them prepared for bed. Allen removed his cloak, shoes, and other apparel until he was stripped to his underwear. He sat on his bed, but he was still bothered by Lavi's unusual quietude. Allen watched him as the standing exorcist undid the buttons of his polo. "Lavi," he started quietly, "what's wrong? You've been awfully quiet all evening."

The polo fell from Lavi's muscular shoulders, slid down his toned arms and angular shoulder blades. He had been mostly cleaned by the hospital after being buried, but parts of him were still stained with dirt. He did not answer Allen's question.

"Lavi?"

"I'm going to take a shower," Lavi informed him, walking into the bathroom and shutting and locking the door behind him with an audible _click_.

Allen lay back on his bed. He did not go to sleep, though. Lavi was still upset with him, and he was determined to figure out why. He waited until Lavi was out of the shower, looking mostly dried off, in his underwear, a towel in his hair. He glanced at Allen before moving to sit on the edge of his bed, running the towel through his wet hair.

Allen rose to a sitting position on his bed. "Lavi," he tried again, "are you angry with me?"

Lavi fixed his green eye on him, but he did not say anything.

"Lavi, please, I don't know what I did," Allen said, meeting his gaze evenly.

The two exorcists watched each other for a moment. Lavi was the first to drop his gaze. He murmured, "You know exactly what you did, Allen."

Allen was about to protest that he did not, but a possible puzzle piece clicked into place in his mind. "Is this about Kaede again? I told you: I've already forgiven him. We've moved on from that."

"That just what I don't get," Lavi retorted, a hint of irritation in his voice. "It's almost like you don't understand how severe it is to be raped. Don't you care? He _hurt _you, Allen, and yet, you continue to put his health and life above your own."

"Yes, of course I know the severity of it, but the Order needs more exorcists. We don't want to lose one for my sake," Allen countered.

"That's another thing," Lavi said, his pitch and voice rising, "quit trying to act all noble. The Order probably won't kick him out, but he will get a serious talking-to. It can protect you, Allen, so why haven't you told anyone?"

Allen lowered his gaze. "I...I just…" He found himself unable to give Lavi a proper answer.

Lavi huffed. "You know, whenever he kisses you, whenever he puts his disgusting hands on you, I just want to bite them off. He's vile, and he's a shame to the name of 'exorcist'."

"You don't know what it must be like to be in his shoes," Allen snapped, his voice rising.

"Yeah, and I can't see Akuma's souls, either. That doesn't stop me from performing my duties as an exorcist."

"Exactly! That's why you _just don't get how they feel!_"

Before Allen knew it, he was shouting. His face felt hot with anger. He could see rage in Lavi's eye, too. It glinted dangerously. The other exorcist stood, violently throwing the towel on the bed behind him. He closed the small distance between them and roughly grabbed the smaller exorcist by his wrists. Allen cried out in protest, "Ow, Lavi, that hurts…."

Lavi did not appear to hear him. He loomed over Allen, bending him backward, forcing him to lie back on the bed under his larger frame. Panic surged up in Allen as he recalled this scenario. His eyes widened, and his breath quickened until he was panting in terror as Lavi pinned his wrists beside his head. "Lavi?" he whimpered, horrified.

"_I_ don't get how others feel?" Lavi spat, fury piercing his features as he brought his face within centimeters of Allen's. "Speak for yourself, Allen. You're so fucking oblivious, it _hurts!_"

Allen could barely understand what he was saying. His eyes snapped shut, and his body curled inwardly to protect itself. Tears streamed from his sealed lids as he whimpered, "No, no. God, please, no. Get him off. Make him stop. Not again. Not Lavi. Not him. No. Please, no. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. No, no, no, no, no, no, no…" He hiccuped and shook violently with sobs. No, no, no, no, no, no...This was Lavi-his friend. He did not want to hurt Lavi, and it was impossible to accept that Lavi would want to hurt him. "God, Lavi, please, don't...don't….hurt...me…"

There was a distinct change in the air between the two exorcists. Allen heard Lavi whisper, his voice trembling, "Oh, my god…"

Then, he was off of Allen. The smaller exorcist took the risk of opening his eyes. Lavi was sitting on the opposite bed again, one hand partially against his face and partially tangled in his hair. His eyes were wide with horror. "Oh, my god. My god. My god. Allen, I-I-I'm sorry. Allen, I'm so, so sorry. I don't-I just-I'm not sure what came over me. I-please, don't-don't be angry with or scared of me. Please. I would never-I _promised _I would never take advantage of you. God, Allen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…."

As Allen's tears subsided, Lavi's began, streaming endlessly down his face. Lavi hid his face in his hands as he chanted, "Allen, sweet sweet Allen, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm _sorry…._"

Allen sat up and watched as Lavi weeped. His fear slowly subsided. "Lavi…?" he whispered uncertainly, slowly leaning forward and reaching a hand out toward Lavi's face.

As soon as Allen's fingertips brushed Lavi's hands to pull them away from his face, Lavi jerked away. More to himself than to Allen, he said, "I let his words get to me…."

Allen's hand fell, and he blinked in confusion. "Whose words? Of whom are you speaking?"

Slowly, Lavi's hands fell from his tear-stained face. All he said was, "Kaede's."

"What do you mean? What did he say?" Allen pressed.

"It was back on the train, back when you...fell asleep against me. Kaede and I were-we were talking...about...you," Lavi stated awkwardly.

"Wait, that?" Allen said. "I thought you said you had been talking about the mission."

"Um, yeah...sorry. We-we weren't," Lavi admitted. "We had been talking about you."

Allen thought about that for a moment. "Wait, then what was Kaede laughing about?"

Lavi's face flushed an impressive shade of crimson. "Um," he started lamely, "I-I mentioned that you had a crush on Lenalee, and he thought that was really funny."

Allen blinked a couple times. "Wait, let me get this straight: You told him I had a _crush_ on _Lenalee?_"

Lavi nodded, his face still red.

Allen's eyebrows shot skyward. _Wow,_ he thought. _He really doesn't know. _"Lavi?"

Lavi's eye finally turned toward him.

"Lavi," he said, "I'm gay."

Lavi's eye grew to be as big as a bug's. "Wait, what?"

"I'm gay."

Lavi blinked several times. "So-so you've never liked Lenalee? She's never been anyone really special to you?"

"Well, of course I like her, and yes, she is special to me. I've just always thought of her as a friend."

Lavi's mouth gaped open as Allen chuckled, enjoying his friend's reaction thoroughly. "That's right, Lavi, I'm openly gay. Surprised?"

"I, uh, just…never expected this," Lavi replied. "So, you like boys? You're talking about _that_ kind of gay, right?" His face was so red, it looked painful.

Allen had to repress his urge to laugh again. "Yes, Lavi, gay. G-A-Y. I like men."

"Is that why Kaede laughed at me when I said you liked Lenalee?" Lavi asked, sounding flustered. "How did he know? Did you tell him, or was he laughing because he was the one who...raped you?"

Allen replied, "I don't really know. Whatever it was, laughing was an odd reaction." He paused. "Seriously, what _were_ you guys talking about?"

Lavi looked away. "Like I said, we were talking about you."

"I got that part, but what were you saying about me?" He was genuinely curious.

"Well," Lavi started uncertainly. He then stopped himself, and silence elapsed between them again.

Allen felt a tense air forming between them. "Lavi…" he tried quietly, "what did you two say?"

Another moment passed before Lavi spoke again. He seemed to come to some kind of consensus within himself. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and said, "While you were leaning against me in your sleep, Kaede started picking on me about how I should put my arm around you. He said I was letting you slip through my fingers. He kept saying that my feelings for you are painfully obvious."

Allen's eyes went wide. "Lavi, what are you saying?" In spite of himself, he could not help recalling what Lavi had said to him only minutes ago: I _don't get how others feel? Speak for yourself, Allen. You're so fucking oblivious, it _hurts!

Lavi's gaze focused on his own kneecaps. "Allen, I...I don't know how to put this." His green eye rose to meet Allen's gray ones. "Allen, I-I love you."

It felt as though time had stopped. Allen could feel his blood pulsing strongly through his neck. He blinked, and that helped him out of his trance. "Lavi, I-" He had to think about what he was going to say before he said it: "Um, I, uh, uh, um,"-He swallowed hard.-"Lavi, I-I appreciate your feelings. Really, I do. It's just...I'm sorry. I just, um, well, it seems like we're just better as...as friends."

A tiny silence followed these words before Lavi's face broke into a cracked smile. "Oh, right. Yeah, it's alright. I-I understand. No worries." He turned and buried himself under the white sheets.

Seeing him do that made Allen a little sad. The only part of Lavi that he could see was a plume of red hair. Somehow, that image reminded him of a red rose wilting under a blanket of white snow.

The next day, Allen arose and prepared for the day, then waited for Lavi to do the same. When Lavi awoke, he gave Allen his typical Lavi-esque smile and greeted cheerfully, "Mornin', Allen! Where are we off to today?"

"We should probably check on Kaede before anything else," Allen replied. He was not sure if he liked the carefree look on Lavi's face. It seemed painful for him to wear. His smile never touched his eyes. Allen's face fell. He could see that Lavi was hiding the wounds he had inflicted on him with his words the previous night. "Hey, Lavi, you don't have to act nonchalant. I'm sorry if what I said hurt you. It's just...how it is, I guess."

Lavi stood and turned his back to Allen as he started to dress, so Allen could not see the expression on his face. Allen wanted to see it, to know what Lavi was thinking. "Lavi, please, don't ignore me. I still care about you, and I-I'm not angry at you for what you said or did last night."

Lavi finished dressing, turned, and walked past Allen. "Are we going?" Allen asked him.

Lavi turned his head. He had a slack, yet forced, grin on his face. "Yeah, you coming?"

Allen nodded, unsatisfied by Lavi's lack of response to his apology but unwilling to press the matter. He followed Lavi out of the room.

As they treaded toward the hospital, Allen felt droplets of water landing on his skin. "Will Kaede even be awake, yet?" he wondered aloud.

Lavi shrugged in response to his outward thought as he walked. The rain seemed to fall heavier on the two of them.

Once they arrived at the hospital, they were permitted into Kaede's room by one of the nurses, who left the three of them alone together. "Kaede?" Allen said, stepping into the room before Lavi.

Kaede lay on the bed, asleep. Allen sat in the chair beside his bed, and Lavi leaned against the wall next to him, almost exactly like they had the day before.

"He almost looks as if he's dead," Lavi joked half-heartedly.

Allen sighed in response. He did not want to awaken Kaede.

It was no use, though. Kaede's eyelids opened, and his violet orbs rested on Allen's face. "Why, hello to you, too," he greeted, his face cracking into a smile. He glanced at Lavi before returning his attention to Allen. "What's got you and Lavi visiting me this early in the morning?"

Allen shrugged. "We just want you to heal quickly, I guess."

"I'm flattered by your thoughtfulness, but have you even had breakfast yet? Whatever you've been eating has got to be better than what I have." Kaede shuddered for effect. "And speak of the devil-"

"I swear, it is impossible to keep you exorcists apart," came the stern voice of Kaede's nurse as she entered the room. "Out, out, both of you! Leave the poor boy in peace. He'll never get any rest like this."

Allen stood up. "Sorry, nurse," he apologized, moving out of her way.

The nurse started to change Kaede's bandages. Allen's eyes widened when he saw the gruesome wounds on his back. Kaede noticed his reaction. "Yeah, she got me pretty badly, but I'm sure I'll live. After all," he added with a smirk, "you and I have a deal."

"What deal?" Lavi inquired.

"Oh, we're-" Kaede started.

Allen cut him off, "Nothing. It's nothing, Lavi. Don't worry about it."

Lavi gave Allen an odd look, but he did not press further.

"Why don't you two go and get yourselves some food?" Kaede suggested. "If you still feel compelled, you can visit me afterward."

"Oh, ho, not on my watch," the nurse mandated. "You exorcists never let each other sleep in order to heal. You need rest."

Allen and Lavi left to get themselves breakfast. The following days passed with the same schedule, with Allen and Lavi visiting Kaede and the nurse commanding them to let him sleep. By the sixth day, the hospital declared Kaede well enough to leave. Lavi and Allen met him in the hospital lobby. Kaede was wearing his trench coat-like exorcist uniform. He looked just about as good as new. When he saw Allen, he grinned broadly, stepped toward the smaller exorcist, took his hand, and tenderly kissed the back of it. "Thank you, Allen. I'm feeling much better. Now, let's go home."


	6. Chapter 6- Courtship

Chapter 6- Courtship

The three exorcists boarded the train. They had been lucky enough to catch one that went straight to France. They would have to take a boat to England, but that was as close to a straight shot as they could receive. Allen ensured that he was the first one in their selected compartment so he would not have to choose between sitting next to Kaede or Lavi again. Kaede took the seat next to him, and Lavi sat opposite of them. Lavi watched out the window for a long time until he fell asleep. Not long after, Allen found that he, too, was growing drowsy. However, he immediately snapped awake when he felt Kaede's fingers weave between his own. He looked up at the audacious exorcist, his face rosey. He considered pulling his hand away, but something convinced him otherwise. Instantly suspicious, he glared at Kaede, but when the other exorcist knit his eyebrows in concern at Allen's accusing expression, the smaller exorcist realized that Kaede's Innocence had nothing to do with the way he was feeling right now. He felt his face grow hotter, and Kaede's worried expression turned to a satisfied grin. He leaned in toward Allen until he could feel Kaede's breaths against his cheekbone. "What is it, Allen? Do you think I'm using my Innocence on you? I certainly considered it." His eyelids lowered, and his voice abandoned its cocky tone, taking on a quiet serious one. "No, Allen. I'm not going to do that anymore. I promise. Allen,"-If possible, his voice dropped even lower.-"I want you to fall in love with me of your own accord, not because I influenced you."

Allen's mouth popped slightly open. He had not expected Kaede to say something so blatant.

"Just let me know, Allen. Let me know if I'm moving too fast." As he said that, he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Allen's. Allen recalled the first time they had met-the way their foreheads had pressed together, their bangs had entangled, just like this.

Allen was not sure what to say. Kaede was considering _him._ He seemed to really care about the way Allen felt, but why? Why did he want Allen to fall in love with him? Allen would have voiced his question, but he was caught off guard by Kaede's planting a light kiss on his nose. Allen blinked a couple of times, surprised. Kaede wrapped one arm around him and held him loosely. Allen's head leaned against his shoulder of its own accord for a more comfortable position. They sat like that for a while, their closeness causing Allen to grow warm. His eyelids felt heavy. He yawned, and Kaede whispered, "You can sleep if you want, Allen."

Normally, Allen would not have felt compelled to obey Kaede's recommendation, but he could not help himself with the feeling of the older exorcist's deep breathing and slow heartbeat lulling him with their gentle rocking sensations. Slowly, he gave in to his sleepiness, let it wrap itself around him until he fell into it as though it were a deep black sea.

When Allen returned to consciousness, Lavi and Kaede were awake to tell him that they had finally arrived in France. After pulling into the station, they disembarked the train to board a boat. Soon enough, they were in England. They took a small boat up the river toward the Black Order. The three did not say much while on the boat. They mostly watched their surroundings for any potential Akuma. When they reached the docking station in the underground waterway, Lavi tied up the boat, and the trio made its way up to the science division to present the Innocence to Komui. When they reached the top of the steps leading from the docks, Lenalee was the first to greet them. "Welcome home!" she said more to Lavi and Allen than Kaede. "Did you find the Innocence?"

Allen nodded and pulled it out of his pocket. Its white-green glow was slightly dulled by dirt.

"That's awesome! Wait a second…." She took Allen's hand, her cheerful expression fading. She turned it over to examine the back of it. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of the scab left from where Road had stabbed him. "Allen, you're hurt…."

"Oh, this?" Allen replied, pulling his hand away. "This is just a scratch. Don't worry about it."

Lenalee gave him a worried look and reached out to take the Innocence. "You might want to let one of the nurses take a look at that, just in case."

"No, no it's fine," Allen said. "What I really need right now is a shower. Would you mind taking the Innocence to Komui so he can give it to Hevlaska? I'll write my report after dinner."

Lenalee glanced once at Kaede, then nodded at Allen. She turned on her heel and went in the direction of the science division. Lavi, Allen, and Kaede headed toward the lodging section of the Order. Allen returned to his room to deposit his coat, vest, footwear, and bow and to retrieve the robe he had left on his nightstand. He made his way to the boys' lavatories. Grabbing a fresh towel and hanging the robe on a peg outside a shower, he stepped into the stall, stripped, and tossed his shirt, pants, and underwear in a heap out of the stall. He turned on the faucet, careful to avoid the water until it was warm enough to step under it.

As the warm water traced down his skin, Allen could not help recalling the last time he had stood here. He had learned so much since then. Who was Kaede to him now? Why did he want Allen to love him? Was Allen even capable of that after everything that had happened between him and the newbie exorcist? He had managed to forgive Kaede, but forgiveness was a long shot away from love.

That was not all, though. Lavi's confession still weighed heavily on Allen's mind. It hurt to see Lavi hide his dejection as he was, but Allen could not help how his heart felt, especially when he was so unsure, himself.

Allen scrubbed and washed his hair and scalp using the soap provided in the stall. He ran the soap across his skin to rub off the accumulated dirt, revealing the bruises, scrapes, and scars hidden underneath it. When he felt adequately clean, he used the towel outside his stall to dry himself off. He took back his clothes, pulled them on, and made his way down to the mess hall for dinner.

When he arrived, Allen noticed his friends at a table, eating. A couple of tables away was Kaede, who sat alone. Allen retrieved many plates of food and sat with his friends. Miranda was on his left, and Lenalee was on his right. Lavi sat across from him. He was in the middle of telling the thrilling story of their mission. Miranda had her hand clutched to her chest but her eyes were wide with interest as though she were both intrigued and upset by his story. Allen occasionally inserted his pieces of the tale, but his attention was mostly centered on Kaede. He would glance back at the other exorcist from time to time, and, after a while, Lenalee seemed to noticed this odd behavior. "Allen, are you alright?"

"Yeah," he replied, still looking in Kaede's direction. The other exorcist caught his gaze and smirked. Allen quickly looked away.

Lenalee turned to see at what he was looking. When she saw whom it was, she glared at Kaede before returning her attention to Allen. "Did he give you any trouble while you were on your mission?" she asked in a low tone so that only he would hear.

Allen shook his head and whispered back, "We were too busy trying to protect him from Road."

"Lavi mentioned that. It's because of his Innocence, right?"

Allen grimaced and glanced over his shoulder at Kaede again. Those violet eyes were already on him as if they had been fixated on him since the last time their eyes had met. Allen flushed and stood up from the table. "Excuse me."

"What is it, Allen? Is something the matter?" Miranda questioned, her expression more worried than usual.

"Oh, um," Allen stuttered, "I just have to write my report is all."

"But you're leaving all this food…." Miranda mentioned, glancing at the mounds of untouched edibles.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I really need to get started on that report." Allen's hand when to the back of his head, and he backed away from the table. He turned to make his hasty retreat from the cafeteria, from Kaede, only to find himself nose-to-chest with a familiar unfriendly face.

"I'm surprised, Beansprout. It's not like you to make your friends clean up after you. Are you as lazy as you are annoying?"

Allen glared at the figure before him. "Kanda," he said shortly. "It's 'Allen', and what do you care? It's not like you _have_ any friends."

Kanda tsked. "Brat." He moved as if to stroll past Allen.

"_What did you call me?_"

There was a general protest on Lenalee's part: "Allen, you both just returned from your missions. Is now really the time to bicker like this?"

Allen would have ignored her and continued to nip at Kanda's nerves. His counterpart seemed just as willing to do the same, but Kanda's eyes shifted to Allen's unfinished plates of food. Allen could tell because the stuck up exorcist commented, "You didn't finish your food, not even your _mitarashi dango_. That's a first."

Under any other circumstances, Allen would not have been affected by these words, but Kanda's simple acknowledgment did have a legitimate connection to Allen's current emotional turmoil. In a low voice, his head bowed, he retorted, "What do you care?"

Kanda tsked again and said, "I don't."

Allen glared at him and strided past him to leave the cafeteria. He went to his room and sat at his desk to write his report.

"What a brat," Kanda repeated.

He started to walk past the spot where Allen had been standing a moment before, but he stopped when he heard a voice almost as annoying as Beansprout's call to him, "Kanda?"

Kanda looked to see Lavi watching him. The other exorcist was smiling, but his eyelids were heavy with sorrow. It was an odd expression for him. "What is it?" Kanda asked.

"I was wondering if it'd be alright if I sat with you for a while. I have something important to tell you."

Normally, Kanda would have said, "No," but something felt wrong. Usually, Lavi was annoyingly carefree and smiling. Tonight, though, he seemed different. Kanda was admittedly curious about what important news he had to share. Without looking at him, Kanda replied gruffly, "Do what you want."

Kanda ordered his usual soba and sat at a table. Lavi moved from his own seat to sit across from him. He did not say anything initially. Kanda raised an eyebrow at him, but he did not press him. He started to eat his soba. Still, Lavi remained silent, so Kanda reminded him, "You said you have something important to tell me."

Lavi looked at him and said, "Yeah...you see, Allen isn't at his best right now. He's been through a lot this past week."

"What kind of excuse is that to be lazy?" Kanda argued. "I thought it was something important. If that's all you have to say, then I'll eat somewhere else in peace." As he said that, he stood to move to a different table.

"Kanda, please, that's not all," Lavi pleaded.

"Then what is?"

Lavi lowered his eyes. He remained silent.

Kanda started to move again, but he was prevented by Lavi's sudden grip on his wrist. Instinctively, he barked, "_Let me go._"

"Please, Kanda," Lavi said, his voice desperate, his head bowed to hide his face. "It's about the new exorcist, Kaede Nishimura. He-he-"

Kanda felt his patience wearing thin again. "Spit it out."

Lavi leaned across the table, brought his face close to Kanda's, and murmured, "Kaede-he-he raped Allen."

Kanda's eyes widened. His breath hitched for just a moment, and when he released it, it came out as, "_What?_"

Lavi's grip on his wrist tightened. "You heard me," he said in a subdued voice.

"But how?" Kanda entreated. "There's no way Allen would have let someone take advantage of him like that. Besides, why would he leave almost all of his food here for that? When was he raped?"

"Kaede's Innocence allows him to influence the wills of others. My guess is that he used it to prevent Allen from fighting back," Lavi theorized. "As for why Allen left just now, I believe it was because Kaede has been giving him strange looks all evening. I believe Allen wanted to get away from him." He looked past Kanda's shoulder. Kanda glanced back, as well, to see a blue-haired exorcist with his violet eyes fixated on them. Kanda assumed it was Kaede. The newbie was listening in on their conversation, after all. Kanda heard Lavi continue, "I'm not exactly sure when Allen was...raped, but I'm almost certain it happened the first night Kaede arrived here at the Order. Allen met him that day, and I was with the two of them every moment until I learned he had been raped-every night, except for the first one."

Kanda stared at Kaede as Lavi concluded his explanation. He replied to Lavi without looking at him, "I've heard rumors that Kaede isn't very synchronized with his Innocence. Are they true?"

"In that regard, I know as much as you do. Although, while we were fighting Road, I heard Kaede say something strange to Allen."

"What did he say?" Kanda turned to face him.

Lavi met his eyes. "'My synchronization rate goes up whenever you're close to me.'"

Allen sighed in relief at the sight of the finished paper before him. It had taken hours for him to complete his report, as there had been so much about which to write. He would turn it in to Komui in the morning. Right now, he needed sleep. He scooted back from his desk and was about to start undressing for bed when he heard a knock at his door. He went to open it, wondering who else would be up at this hour. On the other side of the door was Kaede. Panicked, Allen attempted to close the door on him, but Kaede held it open. "You made a promise to me, Allen," he reminded him.

"Oh," Allen started, sweating bullets, "did you want to do that now?"

Kaede smirked. He reached down and took Allen by the arm, pulling him out of his room. Involuntarily, Allen grabbed the outside doorknob and, rather than bracing himself against Kaede's force as he had intended, merely pulled the door shut behind him. "Where are we going?" he demanded.

Kaede glanced at him over his shoulder. That one glance reminded Allen of what Kaede had said back at the hospital: _Wherever you wish to be._

Kaede led Allen down to the underground waterway. With gentlemanly manners, he helped Allen into one of the boats. Allen protested against him, even though he still allowed himself to be led. "We're going to get in so much trouble for this…."

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything." Kaede stepped into the boat behind Allen, took up the oar, and started to row downstream. "Now, where would you like to go? The sky's the limit."

Allen was about to speak when his stomach spoke for him. He heard Kaede chuckle and felt his face heat up. Kaede teased him, "Didn't you eat a few hours ago?"

Allen kept looking forward as he said, "I didn't eat very much. I was too busy being distracted by you."

He could hear Kaede's grin in his voice as he said, "It pleases me to know that I am so worthy of your attention."

The oar dipped into the water on each of Allen's sides. The small splashing sounds were the only noises that broke the silence that elapsed between them. Allen bowed his head low to eliminate any unlikely possibility that Kaede could see the incarnadine of his face. Good god, why had he agreed to do this?

They made it out of the waterway and continued down the river. After a while, Kaede mentioned, "It's a pretty night, don't you think? The stars are really bright. Look."

Allen obeyed and saw how brilliant the stars were. There were no clouds in sight, and it was the night of the new moon. The glittering lights were so beautiful, he almost did not notice when the oars stopped moving. He turned to see Kaede, who was also watching the sky. "How romantic," the violet-eyed exorcist commented, "a beautiful night under the stars."

"Um, yeah, it's pretty," Allen agreed awkwardly.

Kaede chuckled, and the oars started to move once more, sending ripples across the glassy surface of the river that reflected the sky. Allen watched the water, mesmerized by the beauty both below and above them.

When they reached the nearest town, Kaede docked and tied up their boat. A few businesses still had on their lights, and a number of people wandered up and down the streets. Kaede grinned at Allen. "To where?"

Allen thought for a moment. "Well, any restaurant is fine by me, but there is one in particular for which I've had a hankering…." He told Kaede about it. It was a café that sold different foods from various countries in northern Europe, as well as Asia. Kaede started in the direction of the restaurant once Allen told him where it was.

Kaede chuckled again as he stated, "Lenalee really seems to hate me. I wonder what she'll think about this…." He stopped walking for a moment, and Allen instinctively halted with him. Kaede's long steady fingers moved to hold Allen's chin. His cool lips pressed to Allen's, but they parted company almost immediately. Allen blushed furiously at the stolen kiss.

"She may want to kill you," Allen responded, purposefully turning his head back in the direction of the café.

Kaede huffed amusedly, gliding his thumb along Allen's digastric muscle as he pulled away.

When the two exorcists arrived at the restaurant, they were greeted by the manager, who held a set of keys and was leaning down to lock the door. "Sorry, boys, we just closed up for the night. You can try again tomorrow."

"Aw, but, mister, what could it hurt?" Kaede drawled, his voice dripping thickly with charm. "We came a long way to get here, and we're willing to pay for it."

Allen raised an eyebrow at Kaede. Neither of them had any money on his person at the moment, and exorcists usually sent their bills to the Order. They had snuck out, though, so the latter was not an option. What was Kaede saying? He noticed Allen's expression, grinned reassuringly, and winked at him.

"Well…"-The manager sounded hesitant.-"I suppose I could treat you two tonight as your cook and waiter. Don't worry too much about the payment. I'm sure of that it will be taken care."

Allen grimaced as Kaede said, "Thank you very much, Mister." Before he could protest, Kaede and the manager led him inside. The man led the two exorcists into a sectioned off part of the restaurant, took their orders for drinks, and went to the kitchen, leaving Allen and Kaede alone together.

Allen examined the menu, trying to decide what he would eat. He heard Kaede say, "I've decided what I'm going to have. What about you?"

"Oh, um," Allen stuttered, "I have some ideas in mind, but I hate making the manager stay late like this…."

"Allen, it's fine. He's _more_ than willing to treat us, and it won't cost us a cent."

Allen looked over the top of his menu to see Kaede grinning expectantly at him. "Order whatever you like," the older exorcist dictated kindly.

"Alright…."

As if on cue, the manager/waiter arrived with their drinks. "May I take your orders?" he offered, setting the beverages before the exorcists.

"You might want to get out something with which to write," Allen recommended.

The waiter/manager/cook grinned at him. "No worries, Sir. I've been doing this for twenty years. I'm sure I can remember your orders."

"If you say so." Allen took a breath. "I'll have beef curry, as well as beef stew, cold cuts, a dozen rolls with extra butter, roast sausage with broiled asparagus, roast chicken and salmon, and, for dessert, I'll have apricot-ginger parfait, chocolate mousse, and ten _mitarashi dango._"

Both the waiter and Kaede stared at Allen, wide-eyed. "Do you need to write that down?" Allen offered.

"N-no, Sir. I believe I can remember that," the waiter assured him. To Kaede, he asked a little nervously, "And for you, Sir?"

Kaede was still staring at Allen in amazement as he replied to the waiter, "I'll have spiced curry and _struffoli_."

"Right. I'll have those out for you as soon as I can." The waiter made his way back to the kitchen, chanting under his breath, "Beef curry, beef stew, cold cuts…"

"I saw your eating earlier, Allen," Kaede commented. "I have to ask: are you seriously going to eat all of that?"

"Well, I didn't eat very much during dinner, and I usually order more than I just did."

Kaede raised his eyebrows. "How _do_ you eat so much?"

"I'm a parasite type, so my Innocence puts more strain on my body than an equipment type's," he explained to Kaede.

"Oh, I thought it was because you're a growing boy who needs to eat a lot to grow up big and strong," Kaede teased, resting his head on his hand and giving Allen a mischievous grin.

Allen blushed and looked away. "It's probably that, too…."

Kaede chuckled. "Don't worry, Allen. Eat as much as you want. I won't judge you."

After a time, the waiter returned with a few plates of food. Kaede started to eat his curry, and Allen did likewise. As they ate, Kaede said, "So, I heard Lavi and Kanda talking about something interesting."

Allen lapped at the last of his curry and swallowed the cold cuts in two gulps. Then, he asked, "What did they say?"

Kaede stared at Allen's conquered bowl and plate of food for a moment before responding slowly, "They were talking about Kanda's mission-nothing special."

Allen blinked. "Oh, so how was it?"

"From what I heard, it went well."

More time past before the waiter came with the last of their plates of food. "Is there anything else I can get you?" he asked them.

"No, that'll be all, thanks," Kaede said politely.

The waiter left them again. Allen and Kaede ate in peace until they reached dessert. Allen reached to grab the spoon in his chocolate mousse, but Kaede's long fingers took it before he could. Kaede scooped up a bit of the mousse and held it to Allen's mouth. Allen stared at it for a moment, confused, but when his eyes flicked to see the other exorcist's pale lips curled into an expectant smile, he realized what he was supposed to do. Swallowing his pride, he hesitantly ate off of the spoon Kaede held.

"Heh, heh, you're so cute, Allen." Kaede dipped the silver-colored spoon into the chocolatey dessert again, but, this time, he brought it to his own mouth. He lapped at it a couple times before putting it between his lips. He swallowed. "Delicious."

Allen grabbed a different spoon and continued to eat his mousse, while Kaede focused his attention on his _struffoli._ Allen admitted aloud, "I still feel bad about not paying for all of this…."

"If it bothers you that much, you can put it on the Order's tab," Kaede said. "However, if you do that, everyone will know that you and I snuck out together." Slowly, his first and second fingers crept his hand across the table until it rested next to Allen's on his bowl. His pointer finger reached up to softly caress the back of Allen's hand. Allen froze with his spoon in his mouth as the other fingers joined the first, lovingly stroking his hand.

"I-I understand that…" Allen's eyes slid sideways, unable to meet Kaede's. Then, he commented, veering from the topic at hand, "I'm a little surprised that you're so willing to touch _that_ hand."

Kaede tightened his fingers on Allen's ugly red hand. "I see nothing wrong with his arm. The only thing that makes it different than a normal arm is the Innocence within it." Kaede's thick lashes lowered over his eyes. His hand petted the scrunched maroon skin and the glowing green cross of Allen's left hand. "Allen, you're beautiful. You're so beautiful. Don't be ashamed of this arm or anything about yourself. You're perfect just the way you are."

"Yes, except I'm only eighty-three percent synchronized," he mumbled under his breath.

"Hmm?" Kaede asked.

"Oh, it's nothing." Allen returned to his chocolate mousse, apricot parfait, and _mitarashi dango_, while Kaede continued to eat his _struffoli._ Once they finished their food, they thanked the waiter and departed from the café.


	7. Chapter 7- Divulgence

Chapter 7- Divulgence

Kaede and Allen strolled back to the boat. After helping the smaller exorcist into it, Kaede untied the vessel and rowed them out into the middle of the water. "The stars really are beautiful tonight," he stated again. He sat next to Allen and put his arm around him. Allen hesitantly laid his head on Kaede's shoulder. He felt Kaede take hold of his left hand. Everything was so tranquil. Allen felt his muscles relax. He had not realized how tense he had been all evening.

As Allen was leaning against Kaede, he noticed another boat approaching them. That was when his eye activated. "Akuma!" he cried, springing upward.

The other boat stopped. Its occupant dropped the oar into the water and began to morph. Allen transformed his arm into its level two form. "Watch yourself, Kaede!" he warned, aiming at the Akuma and firing a round of golden rods. They destroyed the machine demon on contact. Once that was done, Allen sighed and said to Kaede, "You know, we should probably get back to the Order. I may have just attracted more attention to us than we'd like." The only reason they had not been attacked until now was probably because neither of them was wearing his exorcist uniform, which normally made them moving targets.

Kaede took hold of the oar and returned to rowing. Allen reseated himself. They were quiet for a while until Kaede mentioned, "That's quite an Innocence you've got there. It's much more effective in combat than mine. My Innocence doesn't help at all when it comes to fighting."

Allen blinked. Was that...a lack of confidence he heard in Kaede's voice? It certainly sounded like it. Allen quietly said to him, "You saved my life back there."

Kaede sighed, seeming to know that Allen was referring to their close contact with Road Kamelot. "I don't even understand why my synchronization level increased."

Allen did not have an answer to that. He wondered the same thing.

Kaede guided them back to the Order. When they disembarked, he sweetly kissed Allen and said, "I had a wonderful time. I hope you did, too." With that, he turned and escalated the stairs.

Allen watched him go, several unsure frozen words on his lips. Was that it? That was all Kaede had wanted? He could not decide whether he was relieved or disappointed. He waited for the sound of Kaede's footsteps to die out before taking the same stairs. When he reached the lodging level, he started toward his room. He was stopped by a voice calling to him: "Allen?"

Allen's blood ran cold. He slowly turned. As soon as he did, he found himself wrapped in the arms of his frantic friend, "_Lenalee?_"  
"Allen, where have you been? We've been looking all over for you!" She almost sounded hysterical.

"Huh?"

She did not give him a chance to properly explain himself. She was already dragging him down to Komui's office. When they entered the room, several members of the science division looked in their direction. "Allen, where have you been?" they all chorused, except for Johnny, who raced toward him and tackle-hugged him just as Lenalee had.

"Allen!" the scientist cried, pressing his face into Allen's shoulder and gripping him tightly. Allen could feel wet stains soaking through his sleeve as Johnny wailed, cut off by his own sobs, "We were-hic-so worried-hic-about you!"

That was when Allen heard the door open behind him. He looked over the shoulder Johnny was not occupying, and he felt his heart miss a beat.

Standing in the doorway was Lavi. "I found this one, too," he stated gruffly. He appeared to be dragging someone on the ground.

"_Kaede!_"

The newbie exorcist turned his head. His eyes rested on Allen, and he grinned. "Hi, Allen. Long time no see."

Allen's gaze shifted to Lenalee. He saw her expression of concern. He slowly pushed her off of him, saying, "I'm sorry for making you worry about me."

"Allen, you still haven't answered our question: where were you?" Reever, one of the scientists, demanded.

Every pair of eyes in the room turned to Allen. He put on a serious face and replied, "We were with Hevlaska…"-He had to think for a moment.-"checking Kaede's Innocence and his synchronization rate."

Each pair of eyebrows in the room shot skyward, except for Kaede's. He merely started to laugh. At first, he was quiet, then he grew louder and louder until he was hacking over himself in guffaws. Allen felt his face heat up as Kaede said, still laughing, "Wow, you're full of it today!"

That was when Komui stepped toward Allen and looked him in the eyes. "Allen Walker, where were you? Answer me honestly."

Allen glanced at Kaede, who was still chuckling, then back at Komui. "My eye saw an Akuma. Kaede and I went out to check it."

Komui's eyes narrowed. The room was unnaturally quiet, so the head chief's voice seemed louder than it actually was. "Walker, you were here in the Order all evening. There were no reports of an Akuma anywhere in the proximity, and it's doubtful that any will ever penetrate Headquarters. I do not wish to have a formal interrogation with you, but, under these circumstances, we can't take any chances, especially since you were not the only one who went missing." His gaze slid toward Kaede.

Kaede glared back at the Chief, but he did not explain anything. Allen gritted his teeth. Did he have to admit to everything for the both of them?

"Allen, don't make me ask you again," Komui warned, his gaze returning to Allen. His voice was icy.

"_What does it matter to you?_"

Everyone in the room refocused on Kaede, who had given the loud outburst. He was tense in Lavi's grip, his eyes deadly. He growled, "Isn't Allen allowed to go out and have fun every once in a while? Why do you have to keep him chained like a _dog?_"

The gazes in the room moved from Kaede to Allen to Komui. The Chief confronted the newbie exorcist directly: "Kaede Nishimura, do you not understand that we are in the middle of a _war? _The Order does not have the time or resources to discipline unruly came here to pledge your service to god and his creations. You have already acted against your promise once. You acted against it on your first day here."

Komui's words settled like icicles on every eardrum in the room. Allen felt the blood drain from his face. He looked back and forth between Lavi, Lenalee, and Kaede. The only three people who knew what had happened that particular night all stood with sincere innocent looks on their faces-well, Kaede's a little less so, but Allen could tell that he had not confessed any of the information Komui had just admitted to knowing-. "Komui," Allen murmured, unable to look the Chief in the eyes, "to what are you referring? I-I'm not sure I understand."

That was when Allen noticed the tall figure leaning against a wall in the corner of the room. He stared at the figure, speechless. Its dark eyes, shaded by deep blue bangs, watched him carefully. Allen recalled what Kaede had said about having heard a conversation between Lavi and…

Kanda.

Lavi had told Kanda, and Kanda had relayed the secret to Chief Komui.

Allen was nothing short of shocked. Kanda never seemed to care about anything, but he had told Komui everything. Allen's eyes moved to Kaede, who was glaring fiercely at Komui. The Chief did not appear to be phased in the slightest by this. "Kaede Nishimura," he said, his voice deadly, "you are, henceforth, prohibited from having any contact or communication with Allen Walker. Any disregarding of this order with result in your permanent expulsion from and memory collection of the Black Order. As for you, Allen, you will be interrogated as to your whereabouts this past night until you confess the truth."

Allen's mouth fell agape. He stared at Kaede, who seemed even more angry than before. Lavi dragged him out of the room. Lenalee walked Allen toward the couch in Komui's office and sat beside him.

"Kanda, you're excused. You may return to your room," Komui said.

"I don't intend to go anywhere," Kanda coldly defied him. "I plan to see this through to the end."

"Very well, then." Komui sat at his desk and watched Allen carefully. "Why won't you just tell us where you were?"

Allen bowed his head. "We weren't doing anything to jeopardize the other exorcists or the Order. Besides, the Generals wander off all the time, don't they?"

Komui's eyes narrowed. "Yes, Allen, but they're _Generals._ You are a regular exorcist. Now, if you weren't doing anything wrong, why won't you tell us what you were doing?"

Allen felt incited at the thought of Kaede, but he did not reply to Komui's question.

"Allen," Komui said gently, his voice shedding its previous dourness, "did he hurt you?"

Allen raised his face, his eyes wide. "No," he clipped.

"But he _was_ with you?" Komui deduced.

Allen paused before saying, "Yes."

"What were you two doing together?"

Allen kept his mouth shut. It was easier to talk to Komui when the Chief spoke civilly with him like this, but that did not tempt Allen to divulge the secret of his whereabouts this past night.

"Did he do anything to make you uncomfortable?" Komui questioned, drawing closer to the information Allen guarded.

"Not really," Allen admitted. A little desperately he requested, "May I, _please,_ go back to my room?"

"Allen-" Lenalee started, placing her hand on his.

She did not have the chance to finished her sentence, though. Komui cut her off, "I'm sorry, Allen, but I cannot permit that. I promised you that I would interrogate you until you provide satisfactory honest answers. Now, is there a reason why you snuck out of your room so late at night?"

Allen's lips parted, but he said nothing. Lenalee's hand squeezed his own in a sympathetic gesture. It gave him the confidence to mumble, "I...hadn't actually planned to sneak out, but I didn't object to it, either."

"Where did you go?" Komui asked again.

Allen did not know how much longer he would be able to pursue this gimmick. He hesitated. After a moment, he confessed, "We went to a small café in a town down the river."

"A café?" Komui repeated, sounding surprised. "What did you do there?"

Maybe it was Allen's conception, but the conversation seemed to be becoming rather silly. "Um, we had supper."

"That's all?"

"Pretty much, yes," Allen confirmed.

Komui stood from his desk, his expression a great deal lighter than the somber one he had worn minutes earlier. "Allen, if you wanted to go out, you could have just informed one of your fellow exorcists."

"You wouldn't have let me go with Kaede," Allen countered. _It was that jerk's idea to sneak out in the first place._

"Certainly not if we had known what he had done to you before you asked us for permission to go with him," Komui assured him. "Judging by your manner of speaking, it sounds like you had already told others about that incident before it was formally reported."

Allen swallowed hard. He glanced at Kanda, who was watching the conversation with a bystander's eye. That was when Lenalee said, "Allen, why would you want to go with Kaede in the first place?"

"Um, well,"-Allen turned to face her.-"while we were on the mission, Kaede told me about his past, and I wanted to...to learn more."

"Why would he tell you about that?" Komui inquired quietly. His voice had a strange undertone to it, as if he knew more about Kaede than that on which he was letting.

Allen met the Chief's eyes. "You know about his past, don't you?"

"I'll be asking the questions, Allen," Komui retorted, "but I will tell you that the Order has had its eye on him for some time."

Allen responded, "Then you should know why I wanted to learn more."

"About what are you speaking, Beansprout?" came Kanda's gruff voice.

"You heard me," Allen snapped at him.

Kanda tsked. "Ungrateful brat."

"What did you call me? _Say that a little louder, Kanda!_"

"Guys, is this really the time?" Lenalee intervened.

Allen crossed his arms. "What? Do you expect me to tell him about Kaede's past?"

"Nobody asked you to do that, Allen," Komui responded.

Allen sighed and said, "I've told you what you wanted to know. May I go?"

"Yes, but before you do,"-Komui's eyes slitted.-"I have to ask: what gave you the audacity to confront someone who hurt you like that alone? Why would you meet him in the middle of the night?"

Allen considered saying, "I _didn't_ confront him." Instead he said, "I've forgiven him. Now, if you'll excuse me-" He stood and exited the room to return to his own. As he was walking down the corridor, he felt a hand on his shoulder roughly spin him around on the spot.

"I don't know at what kind of game you're playing, but I do know that nobody can forgive someone for so horrendous a crime. I don't know what you two did this past night, and I don't really care to know, but it's not like you to lie about something so serious. Next time, come up with a better alibi. " Kanda's nearly black eyes glinted dangerously as they penetrated Allen's gray ones. Before Allen could reply, the taller exorcist released him and stepped past him.

"Tsk, he's all bark and no bite as usual," Allen mumbled.

In response, he felt a cold metal press to the side of his neck. "Watch your mouth," Kanda growled.

"Yeah, right," Allen replied sarcastically. He stepped away from Kanda's blade and continued toward his room. Once he was within the safety of his familiar walls, he lay on his bed. He wanted to see how Kaede was doing (Hopefully, the newbie had not broken anything or one while he was being dragged back to his room.), but Allen knew he could not see him. He did not want Kaede to have his memories erased. He moaned in frustration and buried his face in the pillow. He lay there for a while, quiet but not content. When he felt sleepiness impacting his ability to think, he stood, stripped to his underwear, and hid under his covers for sleep.

The next few days were uneventful. Allen and Kaede passed each other in the halls every now and then. Allen saw him in the mess hall, as well, but their eyes never met. It was...surprisingly lonely. Allen lay in bed alone at night, thinking of him, almost yearning for him.

One night, Allen vaguely heard a soft _click_. He opened his eyes to see-

"Kaede?" He sat up and rubbed his eyes, astonished. "What are you doing here? Are you crazy? Do you _want_ to have your memories erased?"

"Not particularly, but the idea of not seeing you doesn't sound too appeasing, either." Kaede had his usual smirk on his face. He carefully closed Allen's door behind him, stepped toward the boy, and, taking his face in his hands, softly kissed him on the forehead. "What did they ask during the interrogation?"

"I told them we went to a café so I could learn more about your past," Allen replied.

Kaede raised his eyebrows. "Is that so? Did they believe it?"

Allen nodded. "Well, Kanda didn't." He rolled his eyes.

Kaede sat on the foot of Allen's bed. "I really am...so, so, so sorry, Allen. I...I don't think I can ever forgive myself for...for doing _that_ to you. I'm sorry."

His eyes sparkled as he said that. Allen felt his heart beating loudly in his ears. He did not want to see Kaede like this. He leaned toward him. The other exorcist turned to him, a doleful look on his face. It turned to surprise when Allen closed all the distance between them and pressed his lips to Kaede's. It was a tender kiss, one through which Allen tried to convey his sincerest emotions. His hand met Kaede's, and their fingers entangled. The moment was...enchanting.

Allen pulled away to reassure Kaede, "I've already forgiven you, and I'm so happy you came to see me." He pressed his lips to Kaede's once more, longing for the feeling of closeness they had just shared. A warmth spread throughout his body when Kaede pressed back against him. He could feel the other exorcist's intense passion as he tried to separate Allen's jaws with his mouth, his tongue pressing against Allen's lips, begging for entrance. Allen parted his lips and felt Kaede's tongue slip into his mouth. A trail of saliva trickled down Allen's chin as Kaede's appendage explored every part of his mouth. Kaede's hand pressed to the back of his head, supporting the smaller boy as he was entranced by the kiss and allowing himself more access into Allen's mouth.

The two boys were forced to pull their lips apart to catch their breath. Allen glanced at Kaede's Innocence, unsure if that was the cause of the immense pleasure he felt. As if to answer his question, Kaede removed his knucklets, threw them over his shoulder, and whispered into Allen's ear, "Feel any different?" He reached down, took Allen's left arm, and planted chaste kisses upon it.

"Kaede," Allen started, "please, don't pretend to like my arm for my sake."

Kaede pressed his lips to the green cross on the back of Allen's hand and replied, "Why wouldn't I like this arm? It makes you you, and I love you." He looked into Allen's eyes and leaned toward him. He pressed his lips to Allen's again before working his way downward. He kissed, sucked, and nipped at Allen's neck. Soft moans and gasps emerged from Allen's throat. He felt himself being pushed back onto the bed. Kaede's warm tongue trailed from the base of his neck to his earlobe. Allen could feel his heart beating so quickly, it seemed like it was about to burst, but the pleasure that Kaede was injecting into him stripped him of his inhibitions. His head pressed against the pillow. He saw Kaede hovering over him, and-

He panicked.

All the pleasure that he had just felt vanished in an instant. His eyes went wide, and his heartbeat raced. His memories of the previous week flashed through his mind. "Kaede, no, I can't-I-I can't to this," he whimpered, flipping onto his side under Kaede's form. His body was trembling in fear as he remembered. "I-I'm sorry."

"Allen," Kaede murmured. Disappointment warped his features. He stared at the boy below him. "I...I thought you said you had forgiven me."

"I-I have," Allen assured him. Despite this, he turned his face away from Kaede. The memory of the pain was too vivid in his mind, and he still was not sure of how he felt for the other exorcist. Just because his body was reacting to Kaede's touches did not guarantee what he felt in his heart. "Kaede, I...I just don't think I'm ready for this."

Allen could sense Kaede's eyes on him. A sense of fear possessed his thoughts. How easy would it be for Kaede to grab him, hold him down, and violate him mercilessly again? A spike of heat shot down Allen's left arm, but he forced himself to control his Innocence. He tried to avoid the fear in his mind by remembering all the pleasure he had felt moments ago. He recalled something strange and asked, "What...did you say to me just now?"

"To what are you referring?" Kaede's voice questioned in return.

"It was the last thing you said to me. Do you remember?" Allen felt a hint of desperation. He longed to hear those words again, yearned to know that Kaede had sincerely meant them.

Allen felt Kaede's fingertips brush his cheek, felt his hair being moved behind his ear. Cool soft lips planted a feather-light kiss on his cheek. Kaede's hand caressed his white locks as his lips moved to whisper into his ear, "I love you, Allen. I love you and every part of you."

The words seemed to work a spell over Allen. In he drank them, savoring their sweet flavor. Unintentionally, he begged, "Again. Say them again."

Kaede chucked and obliged him: "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." His lips and hands moved as he said the words, dragging themselves across Allen's skin. Allen felt gentle fingers carefully close his eyelids. The hands to which the fingers belonged moved to the back of his head and neck. He did not open his eyes when he heard Kaede whisper, "I love you for-"-Cool lips pressed to each of his eyelids.-" your eyes,"-The lips moved to kiss his forehead.-"your mind,"-They kissed the pentacle of his curse.-"your uniqueness,"-They kissed his trachea.-"your voice,"-They kissed his chest.-"your heart,"-He took Allen's arm and kissed up and down it.-"your Innocence,"-Allen lost track of all the places those lips planted themselves.-"and everything else about you. That's why I'm so desperate to know more about you."

Allen slowly opened his eyes and said, "You haven't asked me anything about myself. I've always been the one asking about you."

Kaede took Allen's face in his hands, kissed him tenderly, and said, "Then tell me everything about yourself."

When Allen awoke the next morning, Kaede was nowhere to be found. He thought of what Kaede had done last night. Other than kissing and touching him, he had not done anything. He had shown Allen respect for his person, even after they had come so close to copulation. He could still feel Kaede's lips on his own, even though they were no longer there. He felt worried, though. What if someone had heard them last night? Would Kaede still be an exorcist of the Black Order when he left his room, his precious space where forbidden memories were kept?

Allen stood, prepared for the day, and made his way down to the mess hall for breakfast, feeling exhausted by his thoughts. He was greeted by Lenalee, who was waiting for him at a table with Lavi and their usual group of friends. "Good morning, Allen! Will you be joining us?" she said brightly.

"Yeah," Allen replied, heading toward Jerry's counter to order his food. He looked around for Kaede and was relieved and saddened to see him sitting alone at a table in the corner. He wanted to accompany him, but he knew he could not. Once he received his food, he returned to his regular table, encouraged by Lenalee's smile. He sat down and started to devour his meal. He ate quietly, occasionally glancing at Kaede. The other exorcist met his gaze every now and then, and whenever he did, his nails would dig longingly and frustratedly into the table like a lion about to pounce on its mate.

Allen quickly finished his food, put his plates away, and left the mess hall to see if his next mission was ready.

Time passed like that. Lavi and Allen ended up on a mission to hunt some vampire named Krory, Lenalee and he went to "rescue" a girl who had been kidnapped by a strange swordsman who had lived for a millennia (somehow, Kanda had gotten mixed up in that affair), and there was even a case with a doctor who sold his dead patients' loved ones' souls to the Millenium Earl. Kaede was assigned missions as often as, if not more than, Allen. Allen hardly saw him anymore, but he thought about him more than he cared to admit. One night, after he and Lenalee had returned from a mission, which involved meeting an exorcist by the name of Suman Dark, he awoke in the middle of the night. It was pitch black and completely silent. He was alone, and he did not recall dreaming. Why had he awoken?

He knew why. He could feel a wet stickiness on his cheeks. His heart was beating too hard to allow for sleep, and it hurt. It _hurt._ Allen clutched his chest and wished the pain would stop, but it would not. This was no wound that could be healed by medicine or sheer willpower. There was only one way it would heal properly. The cure breathed itself through his lips. It was one word, the answer, the end to his pain. It was his desire. Once again, he whispered the word, and his tears ran anew.


	8. Chapter 8- Bereavement

Chapter 8- Bereavement

A few days later, Allen was sitting in the Mess Hall with his food. He could still feel the tears that had rolled endlessly down his face. Not only that, he found himself missing Kaede more and more. He could not stop thinking about him, his Innocence, his voice, his blue locks, his deep, violet eyes, his lips….

"Allen, are you alright?" Lenalee, who sat beside him, asked him kindly. "You haven't said a word all morning, and you didn't order as much food as you usually do."

"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm just...not very hungry," he lied, standing, tossing his couple plates of food, and exiting the cafeteria. He could feel Lenalee's and Lavi's eyes on him as he left.

Ever since the night Lavi had confessed his feelings to him, and Allen had rejected him in return, the Bookman had reverted to treating Allen as a friend to be kept at arm's length. The younger boy was not sure how Lavi honestly felt about him now, but he doubted that those intense feelings had evaporated. After all, he himself still missed Kaede.

Allen started up the hallway, heading toward his room. Where else was he to go? As he walked, he saw a familiar baby blue out of the corner of his eye. He stopped and turned to look at the face of this person. His eyes widened, and he felt tears form in his eyes. "Kaede..." he murmured.

The blue-haired boy smirked at him and dropped a piece of paper by the boy's feet as he walked by. The exorcist eagerly snatched it up to read it.

_Meet me in my room. Come alone._

_I'll be waiting._

Allen's heart beat fast and hard as he read it. He read it three more times, unable to believe it. He looked around. No-one else was in the hallway. Everyone, except for him and Kaede, was down in the Mess Hall. What was to stop him from going to the other exorcist's room right now? He heard a door close and knew it was Kaede's. Glancing around himself one more time, he turned and followed the source of the noise. His steps echoed unnaturally loudly as he walked. He stopped in front of Kaede's door, opened it, entered, and carefully closed it behind him.

As soon as the door closed, Kaede pressed against him, gripping him tightly and slamming his lips against the younger boy's. "Kaede…" Allen gasped between kisses. He felt the ex-courtesan's fingers run through his snowy locks. He gripped tightly on the back of Kaede's shirt when said person pulled away for breath.

"Allen," he panted. "I've missed you so much." They dropped to the ground and put their foreheads together.

Allen tilted his chin forward to kiss Kaede again. He craved the older boy's touch, his smell, his voice…. He felt Kaede's tongue slip between his lips to explore his mouth. Individual trails of saliva dripped down their chins. Kaede pulled away and licked the streak off of Allen's face. "Somebody's hungry tonight, now, isn't he?" he whispered seductively into Allen's ear.

Allen did not even try to deny it. "God, yes, Kaede. Please,"-He swallowed.-"please, touch me. I need...to feel you." He pressed their bodies together so that he sat in Kaede's lap-so that there was absolutely no space between them. He buried his face in the crook of the older boy's neck, sucking in his earthy smell and powerful pheromones. He wanted to absorb him, assure himself that the ex-courtesan would never leave him again. He did not fight back when he felt Kaede lift them both from the ground, careful not to move Allen from the position in which he had put himself against his body. The ex-courtesan eagerly slammed the smaller exorcist onto his bed, roughly opened his mouth with his own, and ravaged it with his tongue. Meanwhile, his hands scrambled with the buttons of Allen's exorcist uniform. Their lips rarely parted, but, whenever they did, Kaede would huff needily, "Allen, _Allen,_" and the boy would moan in response, grinding his hips against the larger male's.

Allen started to unbutton Kaede's uniform, but that was when he heard the door open and a familiar voice call, "Kaede, your next mission is rea-"

Lavi's voice choked off when he saw Kaede and Allen. Allen stared at the intruder, horror-stricken. Lavi's expression, wide with surprise, turned to uncontrollable fury. "_Get off of him, you asshole!_"

The Bookman rushed Kaede, grabbed him by the back of his shirt, and threw him off of the bed and off of Allen. He kept a firm hold of the fabric, causing Kaede to make a choking sound by the force against his windpipe. "Lavi!" Allen cried. "Please, wait a sec-"

"Don't worry, Allen. The science division'll erase his memory and send him packing. We'll take care of this."

Before Allen could protest further, Lavi charged out of the room and down the hallway, dragging Kaede in his wake. "Lavi!" Allen called again, chasing after him as best he could in his current state. "Lavi, please, stop!"

"Let go of me!" Allen heard Kaede protest angrily. The smaller exorcist saw him gripping Lavi's wrists, attempting to tear them off of him.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" Lavi spat at Kaede. He lifted his face to call, "Komui, _Komui_, he did it again! _He did it again!_"

"Lavi, what _is_ all the fuss about?" The science division head, Reever, appeared a ways down the hallway, followed by a few members of the science division. "Is everything alright?"

"It's Kaede! He did it _again!_" Lavi proclaimed both angrily and a little proudly.

"Wait, what did he do?" Reever's eyes grew wide.

"I didn't do shit!" Kaede bellowed in his defense.

"Don't lie, you asshole!" Lavi barked at him. "I _saw_ what you were about to do to Allen."

"_What?_" Reever exclaimed. "_What_ was he about to do to Allen?"

"Lavi!" Allen cried again, but the Bookman was not listening to him.

"He was about to _rape_ Allen!" Lavi glared murderously at the exorcist in his grip.

"_What?_" Kaede protested. "That's a load of-"

"What's this I hear about rape?" Komui stepped to the front of the group of scientists.

"Yes, Komui," Lavi confirmed. "I caught Kaede in his room, lying on top of Allen." His voice faltered on the word, "lying".

Komui stared at Kaede, who looked like he was about to explode. The chief asked coolly, "Is this true, Kaede?"

"No!" Kaede yelled, "I wasn't-"

"Did you touch and/or talk to Allen?" Komui interrupted him.

Kaede shut his mouth, while Allen's hung agape.

"Kaede, answer the question," Komui ordered quietly.

"I-I did, but-"

Komui held up his hand for silence. "Kaede Nishimura, you have directly violated a direct order that, if disregarded, would result in your permanent expulsion from the Black Order. As the Chief of the science division, I hereby confiscate your Innocence and your exorcist cloak. You will board the first train to which our agents direct you and have your memories of the Order and its characters removed." Komui turned his attention away from Kaede's dumbstruck face to Lavi's grave one. "Lavi, please, direct him from Headquarters." He indicated the exit up the hall behind Allen.

Lavi turned and dragged Kaede in the direction of the exit. As he passed Allen, the smaller boy cried, "No! No, Lavi, stop!" He reached out to Lavi and took hold of his sleeve. "Please, Lavi, hear me out! _Please!_" The Bookman did not face him. His knuckles were white on Kaede's shirt collar. The blue-haired exorcist watched Allen expectantly as the boy tried to explain: "Lavi, please, you don't understand…."

Allen would have continued, but that was when Lavi finally faced him. His expression was nothing short of doleful. His eyes were dark with sorrow. Allen's words caught in his throat. He could see all of the pain Lavi had been hiding for months drawn into a single look. "Lavi…" Allen begged quietly, "please, wait…."

"I'm sorry, Allen." That was all the Bookman said before pulling Kaede toward the exit and shutting the doors behind him.

"Lavi…" Allen murmured, overwhelmed with shock for a while. After that while, he said louder, "Lavi, Lavi, _Lavi…_" Shedding his despair and replacing it with denial, he rushed toward the exit. He flung open the doors and raced toward Lavi and Kaede. The Bookman had already dragged the ex-courtesan to the elevator that led down from the Black Order Headquarters and was closing the doors. Allen reached them, but a second too late. He stopped before the doors, pressing his hand to the cold metal. Again he whispered, "Lavi…" The whispered word grew louder and louder until he was helplessly beating the doors with his bare hands, screaming, tears streaming down his face. "Lavi, Lavi, _Lavi, Lavi! Lavi! No! Don't do this to me! Lavi!_"

He wailed, pounded, and cried himself into a sobbing heap in front of those dour, unforgiving doors. He stayed like that for a while until he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. Through his blurry, darkened vision, he made out the familiar figure of his friend, Lenalee, kneeling before him. He must have made such a ruckus that she had heard him. "Allen, come on. It's late; we need to get you to bed."

Allen dropped his hands to his sides. His cheeks felt sticky and wet, and the tears from his eyes refused to cease their falling. He pulled his legs close to him and rested his face on his knees as he sobbed quietly.

"Allen…" Lenalee said softly. Her hands on his shoulders moved to wrap around his legs and back. She squeezed him reassuringly. He hiccuped and moaned in his sorrow, and she held him tighter. He absorbed the warmth and comfort of her embrace. It helped him to calm down enough to stop his sobs. Once his tears had mostly subsided, Lenalee repeated in a delicate voice, "Come on, Allen. Let's get you back to your room."

Allen nodded and slowly stood up. With Lenalee's support, he made it back inside and to his room. When they reached his door, she opened it for him. "Get some sleep, okay? I'll see you in the morning."

Allen made a throaty sound in the affirmative and went to sit on his bed, Lenalee closing the door behind him. He sat there, completely motionless, for about an hour, listening for any outside activity. When he determined that there was none, he slipped out of his room once again and stole toward Kaede's room. The expelled exorcist's door was unlocked, so Allen entered and gently closed it behind him. He stepped toward the bed, placing his hands on the metal frame, then the sheets themselves. This was where it had happened. This was where Kaede had-

Allen removed his hands from the bed to put them to his mouth. No, he could not bear to think of that. There was more to Kaede than that. He thought of _Allen_ as more than that. He had...he had said…

"I love you."

Allen felt himself sobbing again. He collapsed on the bed and pulled the sheets toward him. He could smell Kaede's scent within their folds. He deeply inhaled it, buried himself in it. "Kaede," he groaned. He broke out in a fresh set of sobs. "Kaede, Kaede, come back to me, Kaede."

He must have stayed like that for hours, wallowing in misery, trying to collect the pieces of his shattered heart. He had lost track of the passing moments, so he could not be sure how much time had passed when he heard the door open and the sound of footsteps approaching. He opened his eyes, but it was too dark to see, and his conscious mind was so tired and so introverted that he could not distinguish who had entered the room. He could vaguely see a dark figure. It stepped toward him; he did not stir. It hurt too much to care whom this figure was. It came closer and closer until it stood beside the bed. It stayed still for a moment, its head tilted downward so that Allen could deduce that it was looking at him. He closed his eyes as it reached down. Its hands pulled back the sheets around him. Its arms wrapped around his back under his shoulder blades and beneath his knees. It lifted him bridal style and held him to its chest. Allen's face pressed to its warm body. His hand rested against its shirt. He could smell the figure's scent. It was that of a man.

It was Lavi's.

The Bookman carried Allen to the smaller exorcist's room and laid him on his bed. Lavi sat at the foot of the bed and sighed, which Allen could feel through the weight distribution in the mattress and hear in the still air as he kept his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. He could detect Lavi's eyes on him as he lay there, waiting, curious as to what the Bookman would do. He heard him speak: "Sorry, Allen." His voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He paused, then continued, "I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry." His voice quavered. It grew thick as he added, "I'm so, so sorry, Allen. I'm sorry. I-I don't want to see you hurting like this. I'm _sorry._" He took two sharp breaths. His voice was frail with emotion. "Allen, I love you. I know you don't feel the same about me, but I can't help how _I_ feel. I can't help _myself. I love you._"

The Bookman wept for a while without speaking. Allen felt his brute emotions touch his rent heart. He wanted to comfort his friend, but revealing that he had been awake to hear his confession seemed like a betrayal to the Bookman. He waited for whatever Lavi had to say or do.

"Allen," Lavi choked, "I did this for _you._ I didn't want him to hurt you ever again, so I got rid of him for you." He hiccuped and sobbed. "I thought you would be happy, but you're not. You're miserable, and I...I can't help but think that...that it's all my fault…. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be the cause of all your grief. I-I'm _sorry, _Allen. I'm so, _so_ sorry…."

It took all of Allen's focused strength to prevent his face from warping in response to Lavi's heartfelt words. The bitter young man bawled inconsolably. Allen listened, wishing he would stop. As if in response, he did. His voice took on a rhetorical tone as he said to himself. "I...I promised I would never take advantage of you. I promised, but...what would...what could one little kiss hurt?" The direction of his voice changed so that he was talking directly to Allen. "It...it would be our little secret."

Allen heard and felt the bed creak as Lavi leaned over him. A sweat started on his brow, and he felt Lavi's lips meet his cheek. He felt a warmth emanating from the young man's body, felt his hot breath ghosting over his cheekbones. Lavi pulled away, and Allen felt a wind of relief blow over him. It was a breeze, though, that blew briefly and was gone. He felt Lavi's face come close to his again. "It'll be...our little secret."

Warm breath washed over Allen's lips. Lavi's lips sealed his partially-parted ones. The smaller exorcist's heart beat painfully hard and fast in his chest. The Bookman's lips were warm, unlike Kaede's cool ones. They molded to Allen's, passionate with raw emotion. The feeling of them was nothing short of terrifying. Allen instinctively pushed the larger exorcist off of him, no longer pretending to be asleep. He could still feel heat against his mouth. It felt like he had betrayed Kaede by not stopping Lavi sooner. As he tried to catch his breath, his eyes moved to Lavi's face. He could see tears welling up in the Bookman's emerald eye. "Al...len?" he murmured.

Allen could not say anything. He merely kept his gaze level with Lavi's.

"Allen, I-I didn't-I'm-" Lavi's words fell from his mouth like a train wreck. "I didn't think you were-"

Allen continued to evenly watch him. Lavi's eye widened. The Bookman stood and stepped back, a mortified expression on his face. He turned and bolted from the room.

Allen hugged himself tightly, trying desperately to aleve in the pain in his chest. What Lavi had done had only served to heighten his yearning for Kaede. He missed him. He missed him so much, it hurt. Excess tears rolled down his cheeks. He recalled Kaede's voice in his ear, his lips on his arm.

"I love you and everything about you."

Allen did not bother to leave his room the following morning. He did not care if he had a mission or was hungry. The only thing he cared about at that moment was Kaede, and his reluctance to see Lavi only hardened his resolve.

He heard his door open and saw Lenalee enter with a tray of food. "Allen, I brought you some breakfast."

"Oh, thanks." Allen sat up and held out his hand to accept the tray. "What time is it?"

"Eleven A.M.," Lenalee replied, handing him the tray. "You slept in pretty late, and you aren't one to miss breakfast, so I got worried. Is everything alright?"

Allen could not reply. He busied himself with eating the food Lenalee had brought him. It brightened his mood a little to see that she had assured him some _mitarashi dango_. She was silent for a moment before mentioning, "Lavi seemed kind of down this morning. I think he's still upset about what happened with Kaede last night."

Allen felt bad for his friend, but his sense of betrayal still weighed on his shoulders. "Yeah."

Lenalee frowned, but then seemed to have an idea. Her usual smile returned. "Why don't we see if Komui has a mission prepared for you? That might help to clear your head for a while."

Allen did not reply. He had no intention of going on a mission anytime soon. He shook his head.

Lenalee sighed and sat beside him on the bed. "Allen, I think it would be for the best if you got out for a while…."

"I _can't,_ Lenalee," he stated bluntly. He had lost his love and his best friend in the same night. All he wanted was to stay in his room and sleep. Why did she insist on his going outside?

Lenalee stared at him for a moment longer before standing and exiting the room. Allen felt a little bad about sounding harsh, but he was grateful for the chance to continue his extended slumber. He did not eat the remainder of his food as quickly as he could have. He was too busy missing Kaede. Once he was finished, he was about to retreat under his covers again when he recalled the advice his foster father had given him: "Never stop. Keep walking."

Allen's eyes stung as the words replayed in his mind. Yes, Mana was right. There was no point in wallowing in misery like this. He was an exorcist. He had a job to do. He arose from his bed and left the room, softly closing the door behind him. As he walked down the halls, he could not help recalling that he would not pass Kaede again. He felt his feet drag behind him a little as he strode toward Komui's office. Maybe Lenalee was right. Maybe going on a mission would allow him to clear his head.

Allen saw Lenalee talking to Komui when he walked into the littered room. He stopped before the desk behind which the brother and sister were conversing and leaned on it with his palms. "Allen," Lenalee said when she noticed him. Her expression was serious at first before it lightened into a smile. "Did you decide to get yourself a mission?"

He nodded, his gaze shifting downward to the desk, grazing over the miscellaneous items on the hardwood surface. He heard Komui comment grimly, "Allen, you shouldn't push yourself too hard. You had a rough night."

Allen shook his head. "No, I'm fine. I want to go out for a while."

Komui sighed. A moment passed before he responded, "I want you to stay here, Allen."

"What?" Allen said, surprised, but unwilling to look up at the chief of the science division.

"I don't want you to participate in any missions for a while. This affair with Kaede seems to have rendered you...emotionally compromised."

Allen glanced up momentarily from the items on Komui's desk, confused.

"Allen, all I'm saying is that you don't seem emotionally well enough to take on Akuma or, quite possibly, a Noah. I fear for your safety on the battlefield."

Unsure of what to say, Allen merely nodded. His hands clenched into fists for a moment before he slowly turned to leave the room. He took a few steps before stopping and asking without turning around, "May I go out for a while, nonetheless?"

"Where would you go?" Komui inquired.

"To the closest town to here," Allen responded. "I just need to...to get out for a while. That's all. It...it's the same place to where Kaede and I went that night."

"I...suppose so," Komui said hesitantly. "Would you like one of your friends to accompany you?"

Allen shook his head. "No, I think I'll go alone."

"I'd be happy to go with you, Allen," Lenalee offered.

"It's fine." Allen turned to give her a reassuring smile. "I won't be far. If I run into any trouble, I can take care of myself."

Komui and Lenalee nodded, Allen turned once more to exit the office. He made his way down to the underground waterway, the sound of his footsteps the only thing to accompany him. He embarked and took up the oar. As he rowed, he could hear the oar's quiet dipping into the water, the droplets' dripping from the ceiling. He rowed out of the tunnel and into the open water. The sun warmed his face, as though it were welcoming him to the outside world. He looked up at the azure sky, wondering where Kaede might be and what he was doing right now. His heart pained him when he recalled that Kaede no longer knew whom he was.

After a while of rowing, Allen reached the town. He docked the boat and stepped onto the dock, where people were loitering, sitting on the deck or leaning against nearby buildings. The exorcist pulled his hood over his head and started down the closest street. He did not have a specific destination in mind. His legs seemed to move of their own accord. Every now and then, he thought he saw a familiar hand, a noticeably dark eye, or a recognizable curl or color of hair. It seemed like, at every turn, there was someone who resembled Kaede, but the tantalizing symbols always turned out to be a figment of the hopeful boy's imagination. He forced himself to look down at his slightly-dragging feet. That way, he would not be fooled so easily.

After a while, Allen moved toward a building for a rest from his tireless walking. He stopped and leaned against it. Looking around, he almost thought he saw Kaede again. Instead, the building across the street caught his partially-raised eyes. A lump formed in his throat. It was the café where he and Kaede had spent their date. He slowly approached the building, his mind filling with the memories of the last time they had come here. When he reached the door, he pushed it inward. A few of the tables were occupied by lingering, chatting customers. The waiter stepped toward the potential customer upon seeing him. "Table for one?"  
"Yes," Allen replied.

The waiter led him to a table. Allen sat down and stared at the menu, even though he already knew what he wanted. The waiter asked him, "What would you like to drink?"

"Just water, please," Allen said, replacing the menu on the table. "I'm ready to place my order for food, as well. I'll have struffoli-plenty of it-, and all the _mitarashi dango_ you have."

The waiter's eyes widened; his mouth opened and closed like a fish's, but, after a moment, he obediently turned and went to the kitchen to relay the exorcist's massive order, muttering, "Do we even have that much _struffoli _or _mitarashi dango?_" Allen was left alone for a short time before the man returned, bearing the exorcist's simple drink and unfortunate tidings: "We...don't have very much _struffoli_ or _mitarashi dango_ tonight, Sir."

"Then I'll take whatever you have." Allen grinned reassuringly at the mildly flustered waiter, and the man turned to walk away. The exorcist took his water from where the waiter had placed it on the table and sipped on it while he waited for his food. Again, his mind wandered to Kaede and the words they had exchanged. The white-haired boy touched his ugly left hand, recalling the manner in which Kaede's cool fingers had caressed it, the way his hand had held it. He remembered how the ex-courtesan had kissed it up and down. The wave of nostalgia aggrandized the lump in Allen's throat until it became difficult to breathe. He felt tears well up in his eyes. His face burned, and his grip on his own hand tightened as he tried to keep himself together. He clenched his stinging eyes shut as he recollected all that through which he and Kaede had been. The memories attempted to drown him. His vision darkened as he retreated inward.

"Excuse me?"  
Allen's eyes snapped open. Before him was the waiter, carrying several plates of food. "Here are your _struffoli_ and _mitarashi dango._" The man placed four plates of food before Allen, each stacked a mile high with the sweet delicacies.

Allen thanked the waiter and ate slowly until the man was gone. Then, he jammed the deserts into his mouth. The struffoli left him with a bitter feeling of reminiscence. He had not ever tried _struffoli_, but why did it feel like he had? He took another bite. He knew why. He recalled the time when he and Kaede had kissed after eating at the café. Kaede's breath had smelled like honey, and his lips had tasted sweet.

Allen popped a ball of _mitarashi dango_ into his mouth, wishing the older boy were here to hold up the treat to him just has he had held out the chocolate mousse. The gesture that had been so childishly embarrassing at the time now seemed so adorably nurturing. He missed it. He sighed and continued to devour his sweets. Before he knew it, they were gone.

The waiter approached Allen to hand him his check. Allen put it on the Black Order's tab as per the norm for all exorcists. He stood, thanked the waiter for his service, and exited the café. He was still licking traces of honey off of his lips as he stepped through the door.


	9. Chapter 9- Nostalgia

Chapter 9- Nostalgia

Kaede stood with his weight distributed on one leg in an alleyway, waiting for anyone to confront him. It was nighttime, and the only light was by the full moon. Almost as if on cue, he heard a timid voice from behind say, "Um, excuse me. Are you Blue Heat?"

He turned and gave the potential client his usual provocative smirk. The pale indigo moonlight allowed him to see her delicately-carved face. "Why, yes. How may I help you this lovely night?"

"I...would like to...enjoy the night with you," she said, walking hesitantly toward him.

Kaede purposefully closed the remaining distance between them, took her hand, kissed the back of it, and led her to a nearby hotel. Once they were in the room, he explained, "Fifty for hands only, eighty for tongue, a hundred for all the way. Kissing the back of your hand was free."

"Um," the girl said nervously. "I-I'll take the...eighty." She pulled her wallet out of her purse and handed him a fifty, a twenty, and a ten.

Kaede took the cash and stowed it in his pocket, smugly aware that she would bestow another twenty on him soon enough. He took her hand again and guided her toward the bed. He pushed her down, helped her to strip her bottom half, and set to work. His tongue moved skillfully across her sensitive folds, causing her to moan loudly. It was a satisfying sound, and he continued to arouse her until she was begging him for more. Soon enough, the extra twenty was in his hand. "Back or front?"

"F-front," she stuttered.

He skillfully obliged her; although, something about this whole ordeal felt...wrong. He attempted to ignore that thought as he pressed into her. A sweat coated their bodies, both hers and his. After a while, he felt the pulls of orgasm overtaking him, but those did not remove his lingering doubt. When he felt his release coming on, he pulled out at the last possible second. He was forced from conscious thought for a few seconds. The only sound in the room was their rapid breathing as his client twitched and spasmed as she came after him. He normally would have felt accomplished, but something was still not quite right about all of this.

Kaede lay next to her on the bed, slowly recomposing himself. She watched him with large eyes, and he smiled at her. They stayed like that until he felt he could move comfortably again. When that time arrived, he stood and redressed himself, saying, "Thank you for your business. I enjoyed spending the night with you."

By then, she was already asleep. Kaede made sure to keep quiet as he left. He was still surprised by how dissatisfying that session had been. Had he done something differently than previous times? He did not think so. Did she behave unlike other clients, especially other virgins? Not particularly. Was her sex simply not appealing to him tonight, and he was more in the mood to play with a man? Possibly. He could not rule out that option entirely, so he used to as a compass to guide his professional, sexual intuition.

He entered a different alley than the one before. Every time a woman walked by, he hid in the shadows of the two buildings. Whenever a decent-looking man approached, he leaned casually against the moonlit wall. He would not sell himself to just any man; after all, he was a high-dollar courtesan who only sold to the highest bidder.

Eventually, he was approached by a handsome man in a tuxedo and top hat. The man said the magic words, and, in no time, Kaede was escorted to a high-dollar home and the man's plush bed. The courtesan sat nonchalantly on the edge of the mattress as he named his prices, adding an additional fee at the end: "One-fifty if you top."

Kaede bitterly accepted the highest sum he had to offer when it was handed to him. He stripped himself of his leather courtesan outfit in the blink of an eye and lay himself face-down on the bed. Out of years of practice, he had found that this was the least painful position for this fashion of procreation. While the other man unfastened his belt and removed his pants and underwear, the courtesan turned his head in order to suck his fingers. He lubricated them and prepared himself as efficiently as he could in the little time granted to him by his client. Once the man's bottom half was completely exposed, he climbed onto the bed behind Kaede, who had just removed his fingers from his entrance, and demanded, "On your side."

Kaede cringed, but did as he was ordered. He made a mental note to start charging more for this excruciating position. His thoughts were abruptly cut short when he experienced the violent force of being penetrated. He groaned in pain, not even close to prepared for this. The man did not give him time to adjust. He slammed mercilessly into the courtesan's tight heat. Kaede moaned in agony and steadily mounting pleasure. He used one hand to encourage his own arousal as the man took hold of his leg and lifted it high into the air. He kept it there for a moment before hooking it over his upright shoulder. Kaede tried to focus on his own salacious thoughts to distract himself from the pain of the man's relentless thrusts, but, instead, he felt that same lingering doubt. Something still was off. What was it? This was not the first time he had copulated while lying on his side, so why did it feel so _wrong?_

The man pushed into his body harder and faster. Kaede panted, moaned, begged, and screamed in arousal to milk the man's release. Whiteness filled the courtesan's body and mind as the man slowly pulled out of his wrecked body. Kaede forced himself to rise and redress as the man slipped back into his own pants. He was led out of the house by a back way, a common tendency of those who did not wish to be discovered by a spouse. Kaede tried to ignore the aching in his body and the doubt in his mind. He would have to stick with women for the remainder of the night, unless he happened upon a male client who wanted to feel the courtesan's expert power inside of _him_; but men like that were few and far between.

Kaede returned to the streets, resting his battered body against a wall while trying to appear as salacious as possible to passing women. He would smile suggestively at them, and they would blush and seem to consider his offer. He came close to an acceptance of his service many times. One woman nearly spoke the words before having her arm taken by an intimidating-looking man with a gold band on his finger.

Kaede shrugged after that instance, figuring he may as well call it a night. He had made plenty of cash, and he was still in pain from his last session. He turned on his heel to head back down the alley to a hotel across the street, but he was stopped short by a figure with white hair, white skin, pale gray eyes, and pale clothing covered by a black vest. The whiteness from earlier flashed in the courtesan's mind again, but he shook it off. "Sorry, Kid, I'm not serving men right now, unless you plan on bottoming."

The boy's gray eyes met Kaede's violet ones. They were full of emotion: understanding, compassion, and...anguish? Kaede found it hard to maintain the boy's gaze for too long. It was almost as if the boy's eyes were violating him, seeing into him, feeling their way through the darkest places of his mind to exploit his secrets; just like the courtesan used to be able to do to his clients until recently. Who was this kid? What was _wrong_ with him?

The boy stepped toward him, and Kaede felt a strange urge to step back. He fought against it as the ethereal boy's trembling hands rose to touch the sides of his face. The boy brought his face close; the courtesan shut his eyes and felt hot breath ghost over his ear. He shivered. Something about this boy was strange, but not wrong. Kaede found himself tilting his head back with unexpected need as the boy whispered into his ear, "Kaede Nishimura, I want to spend the night with you."


End file.
